TWEET.PLAY.LAUGH

2012-01-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

Hello kids! In case someone still visit this blog...

Here's my new home: CLICK!

Twitter United

2011-07-31T05:42:00.001-07:00

Garage Sale with my friends on twitter/highschool batchmates last July 23 & 30, 2011. T’was uber fun!

July 23, 2011

Banner made by, ME!

Pre-loved Books

Clothes and Shoes :)

Balloons sponsored by Bloomers :)

Accessories and tops!

July 30, 2011

Ai and Alen joined us. Pam, sadly, didn’t make it.

Bags and Tops!

Shoes!

Tops, Dress, Bags!

Books and Earrings!

Brand New Clothes from Quaint Culture

Brand New Accessories from Quirkypedia!

Looking forward to our Online Shop to sell our other Pre-loved and Brand New stuffs. Had fun with Kyla, Khai, Aileen, Alen and Nikka! :)

Kissing Friday

2011-07-31T04:49:00.001-07:00

I have this love and hate relationship with my career as a nurse. To start with, I just graduated and passed the board exam last year. Means, I’m one of the many Nurses on training here in the Philippines. I’m just too kind to work eight hours for free. I’m tired of being penniless and dependent with my parents. I’m tired of not being able to buy the things I want or even save money. Online part time job is no fun for my eyes and it crashes my creativity (Taking orders for designing is not really for me). So, I entered the business world.

I started getting addicted with make-up and skincare this year. I ordered NYX make-up online from my saving from my “raket” sidelines and bought skincare plus bb creams from Etude House. My batchmate invited me to become a NYX reseller. I gave it a try and so far, it’s working out. When I got happy with my own little business, I looked for a supplier for Korean Skin Care and Cosmetics and apply as both reseller and buyer. :)

Click the image, it’ll take you to my online shop!

Modern-day LDR.

2011-07-26T07:17:00.001-07:00

Whenever I tell people that I am one of those who are in a “Long Distance Relationship”, I get frowns on their faces and jokes on having a few months left to make the relationship lasts. At first, it was really hard on me. Being all that sensitive and posting my rants on twitter. But I got used to it after a week or two since he left.

I know the Pros and Cons of this LDR thing and I am also aware that there are more Cons than the Pros. Some lasts, most don’t. I can’t say ours would last, but it wouldn’t hurt that much to get some hope. Right?

So how do I survive on this?

I don’t want to state the items below as tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship lasts. I am not in the position to do that, I am still learning if things will work. Let’s say, I just want to put these writings on my modern pensieve. Without having the need of teardrops.

1. Photos. Need I say more? Okay, just a few words. Before he left, we really didn’t really take many pictures of us. Unlike when we were teens, we used to be camwhores. But we would rather keep it to this when we passed that, “The best moments are captured from the heart.” Naks! So, all I keep are the photos of his graduation pictures, few webcam photos and our teenage-ulking captures (No, I won’t post them). And whenever my hormones kick-in, I play random soul RnB songs (to make it cheesy) and browse the pictures.

2. BB Social. I was advised by one of the Staff Nurses in the OR (Operating Room) that Blackberry phones with Globe lines can give me a big help when it comes to having loved ones in abroad. I checked the promos of Globe and yes, they offer a Plan 999 with a free blackberry phone. I availed it and subscribed with BB Social for unlimited use of social networks and IM messaging (YM!) even with the absence of WiFi Hotspots. It’s only 300php for 30 days so it isn’t really bad for my budget plan.Through this, we get to check one another every now and then. Plus, it helps me to become more active on Twitter!

3. iPhone Viber. No, I don’t have an iPhone but my sister does. This app can help you to connect a call with an iPhone user with the same application, for FREE!

4. Skype. No need for further explanations. If you stumbled upon my blog and you don’t have any idea about Skype, you are in big dilemma. I don’t know how you are keeping up with the trend. Sorry for the judgement, peace!

5. Secret Tumblog. Emails are defunct when it comes to LDR. Sending letters and voice tapes is expensive and inconvenient too, so we came up with making a password protected tumblog where we can type letters, post photos and podcasts. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the modern LDR!

Okay, so far, these are the ways that we are trying, helping ourselves to feel close in spite of the distance. :)

Somewhere only we know

2011-07-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

When I think about my future, I do not get scared. there is a weird feeling inside of me that in time, I will go somewhere where I will become one of the best person whoever I chose to be.

It’s weird to say such things, I don’t even know what to do with my life right now. In fact, I never really knew what to do with my life.

Sure there are days when I feel like useless, like I’m doing nothing significant but in spite of all those things, there is always this belief.

On wanting to write something.

2011-07-20T05:49:00.001-07:00

This sucks.

Blogging for Dummies 101

2011-06-21T07:07:00.001-07:00

Oh hello! Just when we thought she’s gone and tired of blogging… here she comes again.

Reasons for making my blog outdated:

Busy sleeping
Busy making myself fat
Busy with twitter/tumblr
Busy being a couch potato

Of course I can never be busy at work. I only work for eight hours a day, for five times in a week. I can never reason out that there are so many things that have been going on lately. Look at my list again, it’s disappointing. See that? So why?

I guess here’s why:

This blog, to keep it updated requires a lot of inspiration. I keep on missing that lately.

and lastly, this blog, to keep it updated requires a lot of creativity. I keep on having writer’s block lately.

How kewl is this? ;(

Tips for More!

2011-05-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

Found this on Tumblr, here’s the source: click!

Health:

Drink plenty of water.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
Play more games.
Read more books than you did in 2010.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
Sleep for 7 hours.
Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
Dream more while you are awake.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Smile and laugh more.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

Call your family often.
Each day give something good to others.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

Do the right thing!
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
The best is yet to come.
Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Less hassle.

2011-05-03T04:32:00.000-07:00

And the reason for this on-impulse-snap decision is, Global Crisis.

Yes, after three years of trying my best to maintain a long smooth hair, I gave up and decided to get it cut SHORT. Actually, I did well on the first two years, everyone kept telling me they loved my long hair. The last year, it got dried and I got tired. So yes, there’s no hint of regret. It even made me more blissful and looked young.

Good Life.

2011-04-30T06:23:00.001-07:00

It’s been over a year since I felt that I’m leaving that bookworm thing I always carry in me. Ever since I hit those nursing books, I lost my touch with novels. Yes, I blame them somehow. I don’t know if it’s the books I’m supposed to love are failing me, or if I am the one failing them.

On one of my off days, My boyfriend (Jools) and I went out for a coffee. After having a meal out, we always visit the bookstores. It’s my own version of Disneyland. Yes, I still do visit bookstores even if I hardly ever finish reading a book. So how do I choose a book?

Look for the Bestsellers. Look for the underrated ones, they are always the best reads.

And when I see something I know that I will love, I will impulsively buy it. Like this:

One Day, David Nicholls.

After The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, this is the book I’ve loved and still love after the Nursing Books Era. Twenty years, Two people. Of Friendship, Of True Love. How Emma Morley and Dexter Mayhew grew up, became friends and into lovers (finally). What kept me reading this book is how Emma Morley struggles during her Post-Graduation days. On how both of them deals with their own quarter-life crisis. Obviously, it’s what I’m also going through. And I realized, this is what I needed. A one hit-in-the-face to remind me. One book to remind ME. Effective, though. I cried over the end of the story. Seriously. Trust me, if there are still people who reads this, the book is unbelievably moving.

One more thing, its movie will be showing this year. Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess will play the lead roles. I’m so excited!

Of shot guns and roses.

2011-04-17T06:40:00.001-07:00

Roses are red..

My walls are too.

When he’s down and troubled because of Basha’s hormones.

When he’s watching a ball game/docufilm.

When he’s trying to be a football player. Okay, okay. When he’s being a football fan. (FYI: She gave him this shirt)

When she’s being pakipot of having a photo of her taken, the next minute… there.

Shifangshima

2011-04-12T15:18:00.001-07:00

Thankful for Korean Foods and… Korean Town!

Tell me how.

2011-04-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

When a girl tells you about her problems, it doesn't mean she complains. It means she trust you.

I suck blood.

2011-03-31T16:11:00.001-07:00

I am still in contemplation if I do want to forfeit or play.

Last week, I was to dispose a BT set for it was already consumed. I was reminded by a few in the nurse station that I have to dispose the needle first on the sharps bin. Of course, I do know that. They saw me that I did what was asked. The next day, they have this photo of the BT set with the serial number with a needle. I had to write a written explanation.

Last night, I was asked to call the Blood Bank to check the “AVAILABILITY” of the four units of FFP. Apparently, the medical technologist thought that he has to thaw one unit. I never said it, of course. Again, I was asking the availability of the units for “endorsement purposes”. I did not send out a confirmation to thaw the unit. Again, I was asked to write a written explanation.

Pagkakataon?

I hate ward. I suck blood.

Here comes the charity work.

2011-03-18T15:29:00.001-07:00

“Everyday is an adjustment day. We do not meet the same situations and same people everyday. You know who do we always meet? Change. To quote Narnia’s King Aslan, ‘Things never happen the same way twice.’ Right on target, that should be shouted in my face after slapping it every time I feel this shitness.

Of course, it has only been almost three months ever since I got employed with this non-compensating job. I go to work, bringing my parents’ money and the dinner/lunch our helper prepared for me, and then that’s it. I do my job as a medical slave. Then I have to adjust with every people I meet. The patients and their S.O.s, the other staff of the hospital. Different people. Then here comes the changes I meet everyday.

I know, I know. I’m such a complainer. But when I meet changes every minute of everyday, I get burnout.”

You see how slacker I was? I kept on thinking about this for a long time. And now, I hate it that I had to waste my time on this, on this same old shit. Instead of accepting things, instead of enjoying every opportunity to grow on being an adult, I was doing that. Complain. I was focusing on all the negative things. What happened to everything I’ve learned from Rhonda Byrne? All this positivity and Law of Attraction? They were all sucked. I was placed in a workplace full of negativity. Patients who complains and other workmates who also get burnout but I was not able to resist the power of the negativity. So shameful me, I realized (finally) that everything is so wrong.

Ooops. No, I didn’t quit. Why would I? This is my chosen profession, I don’t want to put everything into waste. What shot me dead is that I just have to accept that things like these always, always happen with the career I have chosen. I must resist the bad vibes and push myself. Mind over matter. Enjoy every bit of my work. Even though I don’t get paid. And… grab every opportunity to improve my skills more and more. Resist and Push.

#prayforjapan

2011-03-12T08:08:00.001-08:00

It's hard to either rant about your bad luck or be happy with something good that has happened today. So many lives are in danger in Japan right now. But either way, thinking/acting we are one and praying for one another can move mountains! --Tweeted few minutes ago.

xoxo?

2011-02-21T18:33:00.001-08:00

We never run out of people who loves and loves to talk shit about others. What is even worse than that is they’d want us to tag along with their crazy minds.

I have my own mind. I choose to have a life and to care less about the shortcomings of a person (unless it is threatening) over THAT. Let me enjoy every moment and get everything done.

‘coz baby, I removed gossips in my to-do list already. It’s just a meaningless to do, okay?

Cinderella took her apron off and wore the right glass slipper.

2011-02-01T06:14:00.001-08:00

All glued and stitched. Red and blue that seem so hard to match with. All tied in a bow that always get untied after sixty minutes. If I could write you a song to make you fall in love with these babies, I wouldn’t. They’re mine. But then, do I have to write one before you find yourselves falling for these bitches?

Getting up from the bed, as I say this everyday, is never ever easy. Especially when you have your comfortable silk bed sheet and warm blanket, who would want to get off from it? But when you do, there are reasons that gave us the motivation to get up. A lot of reasons, yes; but all of it have only one and only root, Love. Love for Him, for a special someone or a material thing. It’s up to you.

A while ago, it was my love for my shoes. Shallow? I don’t give a F.

It was a pang of guilt that shot me when I realize how long it has been unused in the rack. Seriously.

Branded clothes are nothing because it is always the shoes where we can extract the confidence to walk out from that door. It has always been shoes. When it comes to our favorite pair, we’d do anything to match our clothes with them. We would wear them all the time, ‘till they get tired of inflicting the pain on us. Yes, ‘until the bleeding stops. And when it stops, the affirmation of its comfort transcends and no, we won’t be taking these babies off. Take it from Carrie Bradshaw’s addiction to shoes, we all have this kind of desire to own a walk-in closet, full of shiny shoes. Take it from Cinderella, it is the shoes that saved her. They will never ever be unfit. Since when did shoes make people fat?

Of guns and roses.

2011-01-26T16:15:00.001-08:00

It’s almost one month of being employed of a ‘Volunteer Work’. I’m tired with the words so photos will do the work.

Weapons of choice for my duty:

Actually, I just bought this yesterday. I was at the Department store with my mom and then I saw this. Its material is not made of leather nor cloth. What is it made of? Rubber/Plastic. I don’t know if it’s also made of resin, just like what Crocs do, but it’s very light! It’s like having Crocs too and you can have it at a very cheap price, almost 200php! Okay, that’s just a free advertising for them.

I just found this DIY tumbler at home. The cover I used is from a magazine. =)

1. DIY Tumblr

2. Swatch Watch Julian gave me.

3. American Boulevard’s. It' says, “Your Ad Could Go Here’. Kewl.

4. Telephone Wire Ponytail from Pink Box.

5. ID Lace with my ID (Duh), Transpore, Trodat from Digistamps and my mini license.

6. Mini Wallet borrowed from Paula. My wallet is too big.

7. Extra phone for my Sun.

Lastly, my weapon as a lady. What’s inside is for grooming and hygiene purposes. =)

Blah. I’m just to lazy but I really want to post this.

Destruction.

2011-01-22T21:24:00.001-08:00

He gets mysterious every time.

A week of school works have passed. I am still not over with what happened last night. Tequila shots along with lime and salt, dancing with only boxers and shirts, horror films on the DVD player yet having no time to watch because all we ever did last night is a bunch of fun. Watching a movie didn’t pass our standards of having fun that night. We only woke up at 2pm, with my friends snoring and looking beaten-up from last night’s.

As I arrived in our apartment at 6pm, things went from loud into silence. Such a very usual shift every time I got home. I started my shower and brought along my phone with me. This era, I’m thankful of the technology of having a multi-functional phone. Playing music is my favorite part. The music paused for a second and I heard a beep, and then it continued playing Ke$ha’s ‘We R Who We R’. It must be him. As I finished my shower, including my night routine, I lay in my bed.

“When are you going to treat me?”, I desperately asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll just tell you when this jam-packed schedule ends.”

Story of my life. I must have been a masterpiece of the Lord of all failures. Because each time I step on the line, things get fuzzy. All of these come in perpetual exchange of messages, be it texts or from any social networking sites. But it never go further than that. Never did.

Narcissism is my guilty pleasure. I know I have this hunger for attention. I am aware of the fact that I use people, to drive them in my way, to get the attention. So as to let people talk about me. I’ve always had this desire to be envied by many. I wanted people to be in my place. I wanted to be loved, even if it comes in a share of shallow.

But what they do not know is that I envy them.

But every time I stumble to the constant ending of every scenario of my every actions like this, self-abnegation vanishes in my whole system and the embattlement starts causing myself to have this self-inflicted pain. The truth is, I have self-doubts. Low esteem, which irritates me that Maslow got it all right. I have to make him love me, to make me feel high. True as he says, Love and Belongingness comes before Self-Esteem. I don’t feel loved in spite of the efforts of getting the attention. I feel like I am not a part of this world, paradoxical to my actions of using people to be talked about.

*fiction

Tumblin’ and Jumpin’

2011-01-16T22:53:00.001-08:00

Shoes.

I was staring at my shoes I was wearing, with my arms both crossed and waiting for my next turn to log out and sign on the log book. Eight hours have passed again. Eight hours of going back and forth to pharmacy, of making rounds and checking the IVF levels of each patient, Eight hours of administering medications, be it oral and parenteral. Back to my shoes, I felt a pang of guilt for making them burn out. It’s not that they are ready for an early retirement already, it’s just a mere contemplation of wanting a new pair due to my greediness or wanting a more comfortable pair that could be a perfect featherbed for my feet. Well if it’s not one of the two, maybe both. After all these hazy thoughts, it was finally my turn to sign and log out.

Shiver.

It was cold as I went out from the hospital. I never expected this kind of weather and so, I didn’t scout myself with a sweater to make myself, at least warm. Of course, who could send us with an admonishment on what weather to expect? It’s been years when they have warned us with what they called, “climate change”, but it wasn’t so long ago when people just started doing something with it. It was a late reaction, as expected, because as time goes by, people get more numb with problems like this as if it has become their hobby. Thinking they already have enough problems of their own, they’re missing out the realization that a big problem is arising that even their grandchildren will be affected. There must be something wrong with their Nervous System. Yes, I conclude that.

Jeepney.

Riding a blue-colored jeepney, with people who are just about to go to work and school, the attack of the wind made me shiver more with the coldness. I was, of course, a commuter for years. I have an expired driver’s license but never knew how to stir the wheel and use the clutch. I’m a fan of cars and trucks, but driving them is just an illumination in my head. I’m not yet ready to drive one. Aside from not being able to purchase a car/truck on my own, I also don’t have the means for its maintenance and with its high-priced gasoline. Traffic is not YET a problem here in our area, but 10 years from now, we’ll never know. Besides, my work is just a two-jeepney-ride. I can get there in fifteen minutes.

Phoenix.

I got down in front of McDonald's and went inside. With my favorite breakfast meal and an apple pie, I sat and started eating. I could no longer bear being hungry and so, I decided not to wait for him. I put the set of earphones into its intent, played my Phoenix playlist and started eating. It’s him. Again, I felt delinquent of not being able to do my role as a sweet girlfriend of his, it’s no longer the hormones but I guess with all the things that are happening to me, I forgot being in tune with the true wave of life. As I was having these conscience-smitten thoughts, I unconsciously frowned and put down the Sausage Mcmuffin. I checked my phone and opened an unread text from him, “Nakasakay nakong tryk.” I grabbed my Sausage Mcmuffin again and started eating. What if we’ll break up again? What if it will be his turn to find someone else? Common thoughts of every long-termed relationships. Common thoughts of every relationship which will later on, turn into a long-distance relationship. I suddenly felt my heart skipped a beat. I don’t want an another guy anymore. I don’t like the idea of it. I have had enough. If it’s not him, it’s the end of my ultra-dramatic lovelife. I don’t want a relationship with him not in it. Oh, these constant thoughts I get everyday gets jaded too. Really. But being with that guy, I must have done something legendary with my past life. Literally, forget the cliché, I am the luckiest. To be honest, it is far better that hitting the 700-million-prized jackpot lotto. I started with my apple pie and he hasn’t arrived yet. With all the things we’ve been through and with all the years we’ve had, we are way passed with all the teenage-filled angst. I no longer get angry with him when he’s late nor when he failed to give me surprises on special occasions. Children, keep in mind that it’s more than those things. You’ll get there, but no need to have a new relationship with an another guy/girl.

Apple Pie.

“Next time the feeling is the same, don't have to show it, A window of belief is where you own it, And as life goes on you know you have to face, All you find, 'Cos baby, you're my light.” A song from from Nick and Norah’s Playlist OST. I finished my apple pie already and started playing with the ketchup as I listen with the song. It must be the traffic, or he may just be leaving their house. I was just getting the book he gave me out of my bag when suddenly, I got startled when someone sat in front of me. He put down a tray on the table, filled with a pancakes, fries and two apple pies. Of course, who else could that be? =)

*HALF FICTION, HALF NON-FICTION.

You know where my heart is.

2011-01-15T03:28:00.001-08:00

It is never possible that a day comes that you became extinct in my mind. It’s not even close to possibility.

Jog One’s Memory.

2011-01-08T15:19:00.001-08:00

Woke up from an obliterated dream to an awesome and legendary reality at four in the morning. I walked myself out of the room then turned this laptop alive—a usual routine of mine when times like these come. Aside from playing my favorite playlist with un-updated iTunes, I finally rode myself back to Tumblr browsing and reblogging. Seems like I am back on track, losing one frustration at a time.

In all honesty, I have never been more frustrated in my whole existence until last monday. Becoming a bum for more than five months is just suicidal for me, being aware of the fact that I am fond of a productive life. But the rest is history. I’m almost and finally back on my feet—walking, running and taking stops; on my way to shoot the ocean of stars, that one hasn’t seen yet. But if the rest is history, the rest of the future is untold.

And now that I have dragged down one big fat frustration, I have my whole heart to get myself also back. With all the abandoned and unopened books I have yet to read and songs yet to be played, they will stand their purpose. Finally. Just a thought.

Of fireworks and cupcakes.

2010-12-30T02:45:00.001-08:00

"Yes, we too are stardust."
— Jostein Gaarder (Sophie's World)

Look how the clock ticks swiftly, it surprises me everyday of its steadfast function. Not to mention the constant ripping of this year’s monthly calendar as if it was only there yesterday. This may not be new to anyone who have gotten used with this expeditious adventures but it still gives me a jolt of excitement. "As long as we are children, we have the ability to experience things around us - but then we grow used to the world. To grow up is to get drunk on sensual experience." — Jostein Gaarder (The Solitaire Mystery)

So many things happened this year. It just only hit my mind when I realized how happy I am that Chinese superstitions and yearly predictions according to your zodiac signs FAILED ME because they totally are not the real spot-on happenings that you expect to see in your year. I was informed it would be a horrifying and a failure year for me but as I end this year, I seemed to be the winner who took it all. Why? Here’s why:

Reunited.

“Ako naman ang may gusto nito dba? pero bakit ang sakit sakit?” Basha, One More Chance.

Originally, I was looking for a line quoted by one of my favorite writers but that may misfit the content of this part of my post. It was, again, one of my selfish decisions. But I tell you this, the selfish decision I chose to do made me realize that it’s for the best of both worlds. Just sayin’.

Graduation.

"A state that does not educate and train women is like a man who only trains his right arm." — Jostein Gaarder (Sophie's World)

It was like just a moment ago, I was asking my mom to pack my lunch when I was in gradeschool, when I was asking my dad to pick me up from my classmate’s house when I was in highschool and when I was riding our University bus after being dismissed from our hospital duty; now I have passed all that jazz and started the job haunting. But before that, something else big happened.

License.

“Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.” -- J. K. Rowling

Nothing beats that feeling of seeing your name on the list of the Newly Licensed Nurse in the internet. My hands were trembling and my head seems to be floating when I saw this site: CLICK!. “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7.

Love for Family.

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~Dan Wilcox

This year, has been an eye opening for me on how much importance and time I should give for my family. Many times, that I selfishly took them for granted and I still haven’t forgive myself for that. All the things that I’m currently doing are nothing compared with they have done for me. I love you. :)

Real friends and Reel friends

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” --William Shakespeare

This year revealed me on who to trust. I never told that person when I found out that she was leaking my secrets to her, “apparently”, few friends. When I heard it, I was both disappointed and heartbroken. After all, she was one of the very few who really knew me. It was betrayal. Figuratively, I felt naked in front of everyone. It is true that the people shares gossips with you will also gossip about you. What I’m doing is that I am slowing separating myself from the bond that I used to love.

But from what had happened, I have learned the value of appreciating the people who proved to me that I can trust them. Being betrayed by many, I’m sure I can go through with it, as long as I have someone that I trust and could count on.

Minimalism

“If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.” – Tao Te Ching

“The Master has no possessions. The more he does for others, the happier he is. The more he gives to others, the wealthier he is.”-- – Tao Te Ching

– ‘Nuff said.

Law of Attraction

"You create your own universe as you go along"-- Winston Churchill

I am lucky of having the chance to see a documentary film of Rhonda Byrne, “The Secret”. If this never occur, my life would be completely different. After watching the film and reading the book, I shared almost everything about it with my friends by word of mouth. I told them how it changed me and my life. I also sent them an ebook version of the book. You can leave a message on my comment platform and leave your email address if you want me to send it to you. =)

Employment

"Wisest is she who knows she does not know." — Jostein Gaarder (Sophie's World)

It’s been a long time since I was kept in this humble abode of ours, doing nothing that is productive. The feeling of useless filtered in my system, I was disappointed with myself. I tried applying for other works, but they seem to be unfit with what I’ve envision myself.

But alas! Patience paid off and I’ll be starting my hospital duty on January 3. GRAVEYARD SHIFT. I know some think it suck, but I feel like I’ll be having a LOT of time. With this, I must focus on studying and enhance my skills because after all, “Ignorance is boring”—Live Curious campaign of NatGeo.

Sorry for being dithyrambic me, but 2011 will be way more awesome than 2010. Here’s a list of the other people/things/animals/events that made me feel grateful:

Family Bonding
Popoy, my shih tzu dog.
This Blog
Dates with Boyfriend
Planning
Group 39, Group 55, Section 14.
Swerbeh
Jen, Ces, Maery, Jam Rey, Kate
Review Buddies
Twitter/Shoe Buddies
Enemies
New friends I met in Stotsenberg Hotel
Vmobile Family
Blogger Friends.
Rosary Bracelets from different churches
Harry Potter 7 Part I
Tumblr
Twitter
R.A. Gapuz Review Center
L.N.R. Review Center
AUF-CON In-house Review
AUF-CON Family
Hotel Stotsenberg review days
Carmelite
Gifts from other people
Giving gifts to others
Online Jobs
Shoes, specifically Suelas.
How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Chuck, Gossip Girl
Nat Geo
Koreanovelas
Waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy.
Coffee, breakfast, early morning breeze.
Zen Habits
Adventures, Fun, Love shared with friends.
Job Haunting
Having the opportunity to learn how to bake.
My books and new books!
“My Relaks, Puso lang yan, Malayo sa Bituka” 2011 Planner
Cheap Finds
My lucky wallet
Learning the art of humility
Learning the art of simple life
Learning to let go of that worldly life
Bread Talk
Xtremely Xpresso’s authentic carbonara dish (cooked in a true italian way)
Xtremely Xpresso’s Blueberry Crepes
Xtremely Xpresso’s Garlic and Cheese Quesadillas
Hot Shotz
Totobitz
Cofee Academy’s White Hazelnut
Pinoy Dishes
Japanese Dishes

If I happen to forget something, you guys know how much I am thankful to have you. :) And if I have written a typographical error here, please bear with me. It is expected to have atleast two in every post that I write. And this is a very long post, I have a very short attention span.

Spreading love and peace! Happy 2011 Everyone!

B complex.

2010-12-15T04:25:00.001-08:00

Sophie’s World is one of the books that I treasure in my bookshelf. If I only have lots of money, I would order different version of this books online from different publishing houses. As many other people know, this book is about philosophy. No, this is not about that subject.

“As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.” – Socrates

Words that came from a mouth can be deceiving but not everyone who talks about a lot of things is considered smart. Considering that a person who graduated with flying colors in college can be smart, but does it end there? As Socrates thinks that he knows nothing brought himself to learn more and find some answers with his questions and this made him one of the world’s famous philosopher of all time. He never assumed that he has known enough about the world, that that’s just it… he’s already smart. No, he never thought of that.

But what happened now? Now with a world with so much ease, having internet and all that, instead of having a better life and “thinking” than with what they had, it’s more like the opposite of it. We became so fond of ignorance and we have so many inhibitions in people and in this world. :( What is sad is that we are forgetting the natural laws, laws which are so basic that living a life not following them, makes this world a scary place to live in. –_-

Oh! Look!

2010-12-08T08:14:00.001-08:00

You got to be kidding me.

I was sitting in our bed (I don’t have my own room anymore, long story) and I was writing on my new planner (will post pictures of it soon. I know, my life is average). Later on, my phone started ringing.

Well, you know what happened next. I answered the call, of course. What else do you think that I’d be doing? I wouldn’t be rejecting it, what if it’s The President of The Philippines? or if it’s Prince William, wanting me back, and wants to cancel his wedding? Okay, the last one is just too stupid and desperate. Soooo, I dropped the word that every caller would say, Hello.

Apparently, I got a call from a hospital.

You might be thinking I’m already employed. No, not yet. They’re offering me to be a Nurse Consultant in their hospital. Did I accept it? Hmmm.

Anyway, look what I found!

Remember when I blogged about OUR Anniversary? After 3 months, I realized that I forgot to include this photo. Boohoo. It’s better late than never anyway, so I did not hesitate to put it here, on the most sensible post that I can remember myself writing. Behold, there’s more of these kinds in the future!

*So what’s with the photo? It reflects how sensible this post is. Ciao, my loves!

P.S. I love the kick-ass look of my blog. Weeee!

I’m tired to explain, so I just did the research for you.

2010-12-08T07:47:00.001-08:00

Things to Remember about Gossip

Gossip is as sinful as murder and will suffer the same consequences unless there is repentance (Rom. 1:32).

God holds you accountable to your words (Matt. 12:36-37).

The person who gossips to you about others, also gossips to others about you.

Gossip & slander disqualifies persons for spiritual leadership (1 Tim. 3:11, Jas. 3:2).

Gossip often masks as pretentious concerns for others.

Gossip often thrives upon secrecy. Where secrecy is removed, gossip is hampered.

Gossip always contributes to a problem and never to a solution.

Gossip always distorts and exaggerates, and is never a reliable source of truth.

Those who gossip & slander are not in right fellowship with God (Rom. 1:28-32).

Those who gossip rarely get answers to prayer, and often face persistent, unexplainable problems (Psalms 66:18, Prov. 21:23, Prov. 6:12-15).

What to do about Gossip

If you have been a gossiper, confess this as sin and ask Christ to forgive you. “Repent” by turning in a new direction and surrendering your tongue to Christ, not to gossip or bad-mouth again (1 John 1:9, 1 Cor. 7:10).

Keep your nose out of other people’s business.

If you can’t say something good or encouraging about others, then keep your mouth shut (Eph. 4:29).

Never criticize another person, except to their own face with an intent to help. Criticism can never be “constructive” if expressed to anyone else.

If your “friends” start bad-mouthing others to you, stop them in their tracks -- refuse to be a partaker of their sins (1 Tim 5:22).

Avoid association with persons who gossip (Prov. 20:19).

Expose works of darkness by reporting gossip to the pastor that he may confront and offer correction. Gossip should be treated as any other vile sin (Eph. 5:11).

“I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence” (Psalms 39:1).

src: http://www.victorious.org/gossip.htm

Unemployed. Self-Employed. Multi-Level Marketing.

2010-12-06T10:05:00.001-08:00

Do not give up easily – Henry Sy.

You might be wondering why am I quoting a multi-billionaire business man instead of an iconic philosopher or writer. Nonetheless, why him? Why someone who is in the world that I have never expected to be in it? Did I just recently entered the world of Multi-Level Marketing?

Oh yeah. I think I did.

I was lying there in my bed, feeling exhausted after preparing and printing out my resumes that I have to submit in ~~different hospitals~~. Ironic, I realized as I breathe. We go and travel abroad just to be employees but foreigners travel all the way here to do the business. If you’ll review the backgrounds of the billionaires and millionaires in this world, most of them were not really smart in school, most are drop outs (Though, the best gift a parent could give is education).

Again, I continued on thinking deeply.

How lucky I must be to be literate in the world of Web Designs and Internet which gave me different doors to online jobs? So in some ways, I can be a provider.

And now THIS. Multi-Level Marketing. Some may be skeptical and think of it as a scheme because I did that too. But truly enough, before joining the team I had to make sure everything is legal and the products are feasible. So yeah, I’m already in the team.

This is not about the business. This is how I think, how an entrepreneur thinks.

I don’t go and consume something big that has a value that depreciates. Instead, I’ll just invest it and work to have it multiplied to thousand folds.

I’m unemployed, as a Nurse. I’m self-employed, as a Freelance Webdesigner and Writer. I’m in a Multi-Level Marketing, as a Technopreneur.

I have to do this, just to get out ALIVE.

I saw the sign.

2010-11-25T19:44:00.001-08:00

Now, it is God telling me which one to take. Regarding my previous post, Inevitable Breaks, I found the answer.

Whatever it is that He wants me to do, whatever His plans are that He wishes to take me, I won’t hesitate to take it and follow Him. Because I know, wherever it is that He will take me, I know that He has a reason behind it. I love you!

Heart Failure

2010-11-25T08:07:00.001-08:00

It's as if every muscle of my heart is getting pierced. The longer it goes, the weaker it gets.

Don’t ever look back.

2010-11-25T05:45:00.001-08:00

I just discovered something. Someone blocked me on Facebook. Maybe, she assumed something without hearing the other side of the story. Well, I guess I just also assumed that. So let me say, Thanks and God bless you! =) I hope you’ll get that burden off from you.

(No sarcasms, I swear)

Inevitable breaks

2010-11-25T02:22:00.001-08:00

I had to wait up until December.

What if while I’m dusting myself, waiting, I saw myself in front of a lot of opportunities to be creative as a struggling jobless person?

Law of Attraction states that thoughts become things. But what if it’s not yet in your hands? What if you’re getting impatient?

There are instances when time tells you that THIS is better for you.

So am I going to throw away these big breaks in front of me and just follow what the others are doing, with the fact that there is a surplus of my kind?

I might, but NOT now.

So while I’m in full enjoyment of spending time with my sidelines plus a Nursing-related job that interests me, I decided to prolong this state and keep myself away from the hunger games--for now.

Turn the car around.

2010-11-01T20:57:00.001-07:00

I wanted change. That’s the choice I made.

I want this style of clothing, it’s a choice. I want to change my previous style of clothing, that’s an another choice. I want to be a good daughter, it’s a choice. I want to start having a diet, that is a choice.

It’s so hard to understand why people have to blame others for their unfortunate mistakes. It’s so hard to find some logical reasons why people keep on complaining with the things that are happening to them. I know some are out of your control why things happen to you, but when it already has happened, CONTROL IT.

By way of saying, “It is hard to move on from her that’s why I can’t leave her.” Makes your problem thrice as hard to make it possible to be solved. Why not say this? “It’s hard to move on but I shall leave her because I’m already being unfair to myself.” That’s the first choice that you have to do. Then start making ways to make things simpler for you to move on. Make things better as you move on—not stupid and cruel stuffs.

Most of us became too attached with drama, thinking heartaches are the worst pain in the world. But making yourself miserable from those kind of pains is just so pathetic, that is the worst. Being in misery is just inflicting yourself more in pain. Misery, dramas and all that are not in our DNAs. Happiness is a choice, a state of mind. Again, it’s always a choice.

Now, if you don’t want to make a choice as of this moment, then when are you planning to? When there’s nothing left on you?

Buttercream frosted cupcakes ♥

2010-10-28T08:24:00.001-07:00

Who would have thought I could make some of these?

I used to be a complete slacker when it comes to chores. Yes, I admit it. But lately, I’ve been watching shows on lifestyle channel, reading recipes and all. How wonderful it must be to be a hands-on wife and mom SOMEDAY! So then, I found my interest being in the kitchen. And I found my love in baking. =) Weeee!

Yun lang.

del.icio.us Tags: cupcakes,gyk,baketreats,sweet treats

For the love of manuscripts!

2010-10-24T06:55:00.001-07:00

My last good read was Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. When I was still a student, before the NLE review fever hit me, I buy lots of books as soon as I got money. I still buy even if I haven’t finished the current book the I’m reading that time. But then, when I found myself finishing reading all those nursing books, I lacked interest on being a bookworm. I feel really bad so I wanna go back to reading. Result: Bought two books this week (The record breaker is purchasing 6 books in 1 week).

I’ve been trying to practice The Law of Attraction because of Rhonda Byrne’s previous book and film, “The Secret”. Since then, I became a fan of her craft that’s why i bought her new book, “The Power”.

My first book I’ve ever finished reading was Harry Potter and that was when I was in grade school. Harry Potter is in the children’s section of every bookstore and yet most adults are going crazy for it. That makes me realized that we all want to be kids again and enjoy the infinity of imagination. Now this book, which I found from the children’s section too, is all about a kid’s adventure in “The Mysterious Benedict Society”. It was written by Trenton Lee Stewart and I hope he wouldn’t disappoint me. So far, it makes me realize that I should have read this last year as I read it.

Quality vs. Quantity

2010-10-07T09:40:00.001-07:00

Shoes. Shoes Shoes. I used to not give a damn care about you.

I USED to be a hater for suck-ups in expensive things. Who cares about brands? Who cares about Chanel and LV bags? (Actually, most of us do) Who cares about the kind of make-up they put on their faces? But most importantly, who cares these kind of rants?

However, some things change. The kind of change that gives you a slap in the face, telling you that you are such a lame fickle-minded and inconsiderate bitch. I just had that.

Now let me talk first with minimalism. This year, I’ve been practicing this kind of habit of simplifying things—decluttering things. I decluttered my closet, my desk, my bag, my phone, my blog and even my email account. I put away all the things that I don’t need anymore. Those are the things that don’t have enough space for my SPACE. What I like about what I did is that I made others happy because I gave away some of my clothes and bags to them. To name them, they are Ate Gina and Tere who help us in our household chores. I’ve been also practicing Tipidism (Sorry, I’m too lazy to google the right term for it). To define it, it is like freezing your wallet to prevent yourself consume unimportant luxuries. Until then, I became plain and simple. I’m not done with that yet. I’ve also refrained from going to parties and drinking alcohol. It’s my very own fasting. From attending three to four night-outs/parties in a week, it went down to same number of frequency but in a MONTH. Oh, I still don’t drink alcohol yet. Fasting.

As Elizabeth Gilbert mentioned in her famous book, Eat. Pray. Love., “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is a roadway to transformation.” True story, indeed. But no one can predict what kind of transformation it will be. No formula can also even apply to everyone for the kind of change that we would like to have. Because it will always be in our hands whether it will be a good or bad transformation. Experiences, decisions, heart and mind—these are the ingredients. It’s just the recipe that will tell us whether it will be a better change or the worse kind of change.

So why the hell am I saying this? Ok, blah blah blah. It was hell inside my head last year that I didn’t even consider what will be the outcomes of my ruins. But without ruins, I am not like this. Without ruins, I’m still a monster. Now, I am proud to say that half of me practice minimalism and the other half is just the girl who still lets anything go with the flow. Spontaneous, to simplify.

So what do shoes have to do with these? It doesn’t mean that I practice the art of minimalism means I’ll be like a person who lacks color in their lives, inside and out. I decided that I can still buy things I want aside from what I do really need. It’s just about the quality. I’ve written a post before in my old non-existent blog about my Mom’s say in shoes. Mom told me about Quality vs. Quantity. It is better to have one pair of school shoes with a good quality instead of having 20 disposable ones. As long as you have good taste, got a style of carrying whatever that it is that you are wearing… there will be no problem/harm in giving yourself an expensive pair of shoes. And we are girls. Shoes doesn’t even make us feel fat.

Okay, that may sound paradoxical with minimalism. That’s why I’m part minimalist and a part angel with a rusty halo over her head, right?

And when I received my ordered Suelas Shoes—two pairs of Suelas Shoes, I thought of this: There are times when we lose our esteem and we need some things/people to make us feel beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with that. If those things makes you feel beautiful, I think it’s okay. As long as we do not live our lives for those non-breathing objects, fine. However, I still believe it is much BETTER (Not saying that I believe solely on this one) to feel beautiful that is coming from ourselves. That we do not have to have others/things to make us feel beautiful. So there, I opened my mind to this: We have our own reasons, own backgrounds why we are acting the way we act now. So to everyone that I’ve judged before, I’m sorry. I forgot about what Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

So in my case, I feel pretty with my new shoes even though I already know that I’m already one. Don’t worry,I still am a plain and simple kid. Not the kind who wears jolina and animal clothes (Oh no, you’re doing it again!).

Visit http://www.suelasonline.com/

P.S. I am still dreaming of being a full-time minimalist. And this post is too lengthy that even I will get lazy to read it. I also think there might be sooo many typos here because I always overlook things.

Sappy.

2010-10-03T11:07:00.001-07:00

I just sat there and watched the view from the window car.

I planned everything in the midst of underness. I was completely broke but I had money in my red wallet. I was partly jobless but I had money in my small blue purse. Thinking the we celebrated our anniversary without the mere presence of succulent foods, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, Jools, and told him we should go and swim in gluttony. So we did went out after his make-up duty in a hospital.

As usual, whenever someone visits our house and reach our front gate, all our dogs will bark like hell that makes our neighbors sick. I know they want to complain but they can’t. Ask my father. Anyway, when our dogs started barking I went outside and saw him. I was all prepped and trimmed. I stashed the baby cologne that Tita Yolly gave me as a reward for passing the board exams. Again, I was all prepped and trimmed. But when I saw him… He did not look happy.

My boyfriend’s traditional conservative issues makes him dislike my top. My hormones were all hyped and lost my mood. So I told him I won’t go if I have to change what I wear. Ohhh, the feminine side of me still works…

So there. As soon as we reached the free shuttle to marquee, I just sat there and watched the view from the window car.

No, I’m not mad. It’s a part of our normal routine to argue and to be the paradoxical couple sometimes. We had fun anyway when we arrived at the mall. The point of this comes in the next sentence.

Sometimes, it is better not to talk when you know there’s no point in arguing.

P.S. Foodgasm for the day was Frozen Yogurt with some New York Cheesecake and some nuts on top.

Blood Line.

2010-10-02T02:52:00.001-07:00

I think my frequent writings here has proven the existence of unemployment in my present life. They usually ask me where exactly do I want to work and practice my skills in nursing and I just answer them this, “Anywhere, basta may backer kami ni Itay. Hihihi.” Anyway, I’ll get there soon. I’m not in a rush but I’m also excited to start jumping ahead towards this sweat-induced and stress-induced job.

But that’s not my real story here. :)

Jools told me they got a new scanner months ago and one thing popped into my mind. Old Photos! I was really cute when I was a baby but as I grow old… I became more and more beautiful. –_- … *crickets* … And so, I asked him to scan some of our vintage photos including my grandparents’ old shots. :)

And remembering my elementary days also reminds me of malnourished kids where they only cared about are cartoons, shock bang, jackstones etc.

See? Unlike now, all I talk and tweet about is food. Good thing I still know how to run and jog every morning. Plus, being naturally sexy runs in our blood. –_-

BONUS: Chito (Jools) really does look cute BEFORE.

IKR?!

Until…

Uhm

P.S. It is 84 days before Christmas! Yai!

Roadtrip Part II

2010-09-30T09:42:00.001-07:00

I am not my hair.

I love my long crowning glory but I don’t really pay attention taking care of it. There are times when I wish I am the high-maintenance type but as I look myself in the mirror, I tell myself, “No need to be one, darling.” Kapal ba? Anyway, I still think there are more important things in my life than that.

Baby still got nightmares.

I used to love my room. Especially when it is clean and when I can review my lessons peacefully (probably talking about the college era). But when I started having nightmares, I chose to sleep in my mom’s room. Do you think I’m kidding? Do you think I’m that numb-nuts? Wish I am so that I can sleep in my lovely room. I still pray, don’t worry. Oh, and bee tee dubs, I’m 21. Hihihi.

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Winner Kapols since 2005!

You may probably ask me how many years Jools and I together but I am still having the hardest time what to answer. We were on and off. Blame my hormones! Seriously, they’re such a bad bad ass to make a man cry. Anyway, Last week (Specific date was September 20) was our celebration of our “supposedly” or “considered” 5th year anniversary. We were supposed to be having dinner and have our favorite potato croquettes plus white hazelnut but Popoy got sick. We spent our last dime on him and we just ate Ate Gina’s home dishes. You may think I am disappointed but we chose to enjoy our food nalang and take a bunch of pictures that you will be/you already are seeing below. –_-

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My very “resourceful” gifts are secretly hiding insidethecarton box and then I also gave him two acoustic cds. I thank God everyday for my functional right brain. :)

What are the perfect gifts for me? Books. Especially when I love the author of it. Buti nalang my suitor is very attentive to everything that I go gaga for. Weee!

Short notice

2010-09-29T10:51:00.001-07:00

*Crickets*

We entangle ourselves with this four-letter word ever since we engaged into hormones. Once puberty sets in, hormones play their role that makes our emotions more uptight. Most of the time, we get carried away. Most of the time, we fail.

The catch is, it is hard to distinguish whether it is just the hormones, being a curious and explorative teenager or we just do fall in love. In my case, they all happened.

Don’t worry. I don’t want to tell you my story because I might just bore you to death. I just want to include this on my list.

Roadtrip Part I

2010-09-18T21:04:00.001-07:00

Months have rolled down making our calendars go thinner. Somehow, magically, things go better when we thought it’ll go worse. Somehow, magically, all moments are worth to keep as our own memories. However, some are intended to be forgotten and worst, some are NOT intended to be remembered.

Some of us hates the past that makes our present life as its enemy. In my case, I treat it as my very own manual. You should know what I mean.

“Making my life bloggable.”, I thought last night. I guess it’s just an another way of saying that I need to make myself escape from the negativity of this world and just… live.

The first task to make my life bloggable is NOT to promise myself that I have to update this blog every now and then. It will just happen in the other way then.

Second, list the simple things that makes me feel thankful for in the past few weeks.

I. Quote.

“Before you speak,listen.

Before you write,think.

Before you invest,investigate.

Before you criticize,pray.

Before you quit,try again.” – Rick Warren.

II. Siklab’s Victory.

Who would have thought our batch could produce 33 Topnotchers? It may seem surprising but proving people wrong is still the best. I’m proud to be one of this batch!

III. Letters To Juliet

This movie made me realized that even some of us have to meet different kinds of lovers, it is still amazing that we will end up with the one person who is meant for us.

IV. Tuyo and Dillis for breakfast.

Not to mention if you have vinegar and tomatoes. =)

V. Photos

And what are the good things for our memories? Digital Cameras and Online Social sites where we can post, tag and grab photos.

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Beach outing with my highschool friends are still the best. These guys are so worth for keeps even though I am often offline from their gimiks at times.

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Old School. Browsing Good ‘ol Photos makes me smile and this makes me miss school so much.

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LNR, GAPUZ AND IN-HOUSE REVIEW

I miss my review buddies! Lhey always made sure that we are seated in the front row because that gives us so much focus “daw”. It is also a less tempting position to sleep in class but there was this one time when I couldn’t take it anymore and started sleeping instead of listening to our lesson.

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HOTEL STOTSENBERG

I got new friends during our stay in Stotsenberg before the board exam. We also stayed in the big room and our neighbors were our crushes. Ay clinical instructors pala!

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VI. Inside the Carton

Because I can go back and make sure my life is worth to be blogged, watched and reminisced again and again. Memories can be are best motivation.

Dermis and Epidermis

2010-09-14T19:44:00.001-07:00

Here’s a conversation that I heard from “The Guys”

Boy1: “Pare, Kilala mo ba si Blah Blah?” (Can you still remember Blah Blah?)

Boy2: “Ah. Oo naman. Bakit?” (Of course, I still do. Why?)

Boy1: “Nakita ko kahapon. Ang ganda parin, sexy. Nakashorts pamandin. Grabiiii” (I saw her yesterday and she’s still pretty and sexy. Plus, she’s wearing shorts.)

I know I can’t change the fact that some of my guy friends talk like this behind a girl’s back. I also can’t change the fact that women buy and wear clothes with smaller sizes—be it width or height (or whatever, I’m not a fashion enthusiast) that makes them almost reveal their whole integumentary system. We do talk about men’s body too, but in our case, it’s not that really disrespectful. I know that’s a double standard opinion, it’s still the truth though.

This is a generation where everyone doesn’t give a shit from other people’s opinion on how they should look like. This is the era in which everyone enjoys freedom of opinion—and this is my opinion. You may call me a kill joy or what, but we live in a world that is flooded with resistible temptations. Even though some men act normally, live simply and behave innocently, they can’t hide the fact that they are more involved with lust. That’s still very much worldly. Being in lust will just make you guys disrespecting a woman. What’s hidden beneath an innocent guy is someone fired up with sex.

I’m aware that guys also blame women’s way of dressing/clothing. So fine, say what you want. But what actually matters is how you react to these issues and THAT makes you who you are. If you blame the gir'l’s shorts or a very low v-neck line top, which is actually your defense mechanism known as rationalization, then that’s just simply lame. Again, it’s how you reacted with it. That still makes you a jerk.

Phew.

I don’t want to generalize because I still believe there are still men who know how to treat their women right. –_-

Back to basics.

2010-09-14T05:01:00.001-07:00

I get easily amazed with the coolest blog designs here in the worldwideweb ever since I started blogging last 2007. I was so into them that I even got paid doing blog layouts. From xanga, I jumped to blogger then to wordpress, to tumblr, to wordpress again and back to blogger.

Then I got busy when I was about to finish college, I didn’t had enough time to spare to update my blogs and more so, the layouts. My friends were asking me to do it again because they think my designs were good. But then… I just stopped being design-y (whut?!) with my blogs.

Actually, I stopped designing for my own blog only. Ever since I started to practice minimalism, I wanted everything simple. I stopped with the complications and made everything precise and brief. Because I think too many colors and designs will just make our eyes shut. So here, I am back to basics. Not because I got demoted from my blogging expertise but because this is who I am now. I love minimalism. So this layout is simple but it does make a statement (Ang yabang ko ‘diba?).

Simplicity gives us so much sophistication and makes us more elegant.

Anypoo, here’s a picture that might save me from all the external stress that have been trying to attack me.

He almost gave Popoy a fracture. Actually, he’s just scared of getting bitten by our dog. Now, I’m giving him the alias, “Courage, the cowardly boy.”

You think?

2010-09-12T16:09:00.001-07:00

You wish your plan came to your reality but somehow, you think destiny won't allow you to. You wish you are this kind of person but here comes the uncontrollable moments, you become sort of a monster.

You seem weak where in fact you thought you are the opposite of it. You give up on finding your true self, showing the real you but you keep on blaming the hindrances--instead of blaming yourself.

Mind. You think it doesn't have an intertwine connection with the reality but it does. What you think makes you who you really are. What you think or hope for might eventually happen and if not, something better is meant for you. You think and that's you. You just have to show it but it won't be easy because shit will be given.

Psalm 37:5

2010-09-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hello there! Sorry for the hiatus, I changed the url of this blog for awhile bec. I got scared of some hacker--I don't want to talk about it. I realized I don't have to be afraid of someone who doesn't have the guts to reveal himself/herself. Anyway, I am happy with my lovelife, family, friends and nursing life! Some just really don't like it when someone is happy and they are not. What I can only do for them is pray for them to wake up their minds--it's not always about you.

So, I just heard that I'm already a registered nurse?! Haha! Well not yet, we will still be having our oath-taking next week and get our license on October. Right now, I am still in euphoria because I passed the July NLE. Believe me, the time-restraints, late night sleeps, hardwork, pressure and more pressure are actually worth it. Even the money my parents invested for my education was all worth it. Forget the unemployment and unpaid job that I'm praying to have soon, I'm still glad I passed. Of course, all of these wouldn't happen without my BFF, God. Everything that I did and that I do, I commit them all to the lord and give glory to his name! Weeeee!

Oh, and before I finish this post, here's the advance greeting to my boyfriend. Happy Anniversary on the 20th! It sucks that we won't celebrate it on the exact date but I have to try to be an understanding girlfriend. Thank you for courting me for over 5 years! =)

The tambay is now talking to herself.

2010-07-15T08:57:00.001-07:00

I am a certified tambay and a certified unemployed citizen of RP. Most of my days are spent with our TV and DVD player watching everything with my dog, Popoy; or go to the mall and watch a movie; or play Baking Life in Facebook. By the way, I love Karate Kid and The Sorcerer's Apprentice but that is not actually the topic for this post.

Another side-line topic: I don't have a job yet. I have plans. But plans which are not put into action. Am I ready? I don't know yet.

ANOTHER side-line topic: Got a new twitter account. New changes. I guess I'll follow few people only. I won't follow everyone that I know. Interesting people and close friends will do, I think.

Dum. dee. dum.

Well. I have thought of something the other day. Revenge. I guess everyone wants to revenge on someone at one point of their lives. The question is, "Will it be a good or a bad revenge?" And I've realized the outcome of any revenge that is planted on earth.

Revenge #1: Wishing the person who really have hurt you will also experience twice the pain you have/had.

Outcome of Revenge #1: You will experience twice the pain that you're having because you kept on thinking if he/she is actually experiencing it. In a more understandable terms, you'll just keep on hurting yourself wishing about that.

Revenge #2: Hiring an assassin to kill someone for you.

Outcome of Revenge #2: Of course this won't work. Somehow or someday, you might get caught and spend your life in prison. Or if you're really lucky, you'll get all the bad karma in the world. Plus, your conscience will KILL you.

Revenge #3: Having a good and right way of life.

Outcome of Revenge #3: You'll get what you really want and what you deserve. This is one of my best revenges.

Just saying, Angela.

11 Things I Wish I Had Known When Starting Out in Life

2010-07-11T09:27:00.001-07:00

When I started reading zen lifestyle and minimalism, half of me was still a crazy bitch inside. And then I've stumbled on zenhabits.net and I found this article from this page. Reading it first even gave me to step into reality but reading it for the second time gave me a lot of things to think about with my very own reality show.

I. How to control impulse spending. I've spent one day going at 3 malls without ever consuming things. Well, except for food bec. mom took me out for lunch but what happened is this: She told me that she is happy for what I have become. When I was still in high school, I always buy unnecessary things. We call it "luxuries". But as I grew old, things have changed. When we were at the mall that day, mom was asking me if I want this or that. I think she was surprised that I am not buying myself anything. FYI: It has been a while since mom and I went to the mall because of her new business. So, I just kept saying no and that I won't need it anyway. I was like a toddler with such a negativistic attitude but in a more positive way. :)

II. You gotta stay active. Again, when I was in high school, I was lame. My life was too sedentary. But when I noticed that I am not longer fit, my sister finally convinced me to enroll at the gym. I still can't believe that I've enrolled at a gym 'till now.

III. Smoking is just dumb. Believe me, it is. After all the stupidity I've brought myself into, I got an aversion to cigarettes. Yes, I was a smoker. I'm not ashamed of this, though. I was really weak. But I'm proud to say, I'm a quitter--to cigarette-smoking. :)

IV. All the stuff you’re doing that seems hard — it will be of use. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I don't brag about it but I'm not really proud of it. But when things have been shaky with our finances, we decided that it would be really be better if we live on a simple life. On those times, I have learned the value of hard work and prayer. I'm not saying prayer is hard. Prayer must be combined with everything that is why I included it. Anyway, Hard work thought me that everything that I've worked hardly on will be of use someday. And what are those? Being patient, understanding even though people are irrational at times, trying to trust someone, committing yourself to your relationships and passions.

V. Make time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. Whatever gift God has given you, use it even if it is out of the boundaries of your profession. A blessing will be a waste if not used.

VI. The people you make friends with are so much more important than your job or the things you buy. Do I need to explain this?

VII. Your kids are going to grow up way faster than you think. Don’t waste a minute. Mom kept telling me this when I was a kid. She's right. Moms are always always right.

VIII. Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There are things that happened to me that even caused me to make more mistakes and gave me depression too. But when you focused more on the bright side and with the blessings you have, that gives you one of the pursuits to happiness.

IX. Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They’re more than just journals. I get excited whenever I'm reading blogs esp. when I know the owner of it. I'm a blogger since 2007!

X. Tequila is seriously evil. I got an aversion to this too. Not only tequila but also any drink that would make you drunk. I am done with those things. I don't feel like I am a girl whenever I engage myself with an alcohol and a stick.

XI. All these mistakes you’re going to make, despite this advice? They’re worth it. I am not proud of my mistakes but I don't deny them. They are the things that made me go back to the right path. Without having them being done, I guess I wouldn't appreciate this life more.

I know they're not 20 but some of the things that the author said are not really applicable to me. You can view them on this site.

Four to six weeks.

2010-07-06T22:22:00.001-07:00

Anhedonia.

In psychology and psychiatry, anhedonia (< Greek ἀν- an-, "without" + ἡδονή hēdonē, "pleasure") is an inability to experience pleasurable emotions from normally pleasurable life events such as eating, exercise, social interaction or sexual activities.

No, I don't have schizophrenia. It just so happened that I have one of those negative symptoms which can be normally found in normal individuals. So, yes. I may still be normal.

Uhm. Yes. I lack pleasurable emotions from normally pleasurable life events. I don't know, I guess something must be really wrong with me. -_- I even don't know what to write here, instead I just searched for a decent meaning of "Anhedonia" that wouldn't appear as a medical jargon. Something that could be understood in layman's term. I am also using intellectualization as my defense mechanism nowadays, lack of emotions in most of my conversations with other people.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm in crisis. I'm done with studying and now, I'm looking for a work. Maybe, I'm in a Developmental Crisis. And how long does it occur in every person? 4-6 weeks, as far as I can remember.

Negativism into Positivism

2010-07-06T20:31:00.001-07:00

Hypoxia.

2010-06-04T07:23:00.001-07:00

It was past three in the morning when my brain decided to wake me up. My head was still in pain, maybe from studying my brain itself. I gather myself and made a short prayer before I stood up. My dog ran towards me then started licking my foot as I got out from my bed. I just ignored him because I really wanted to pee and so, I went to the bathroom and started doing my morning rituals.

It was a typical morning. Enjoying the bliss from just a simple coffee and pancakes. Unstressing myself just by looking at my dog licking himself. Staying at the garden and appreciating the works of my mother's green hands.

I breathe deeply, hoping that my headache will be gone since I think it's in dire need of a lot of oxygen.

So it was just a typical morning but no luxury can ever replace it.

As I sip my coffee, I listen to Goo Goo Dolls (as usual) in my iPod. Neighbors jog around and greet me a good morning as they pass by our house.

Bliss.

Then my head sucked all the pain in the world again. I opened my eyes and it took me a few seconds that my life started to become a dream. I looked at the time and it's 8:30 am, sooo late for my review class. Isn't it great?

Haaay. I miss life.

Breakeven

2010-06-01T11:11:00.001-07:00

Rarely that I do this in a blog but this song always get my attention.

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in
Cos I got tI’me while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st
While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I’m all choked up and your ok
I’m falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I’m tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

Mindful kindness.

2010-05-19T01:51:00.001-07:00

Do every act of your life as if it were your last.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Some people think that I am strong, being able to resist tears and anger. But of course they are wrong. Or else, what am I blogging about? Right? I am not that resistant to temptations. With all the things I have been through, I can prove to you that I am right. With all the people that I have hurt, you'll know that I am selfish. I can't tell you right now that I have changed because I am still trying. I am still weak. I am still, you know.

I am not perfect. I am, in fact, a sinner. But I regret that I have done those things. Those things that made me let myself far away from God. I am in no position to tell everyone that I am very close to God right now but I humble myself before him. Ready to take another step for an another change.

But whatever it is that had happened, all I can say is this. It is painful when someone shows to you that you do not deserve God bec. of all the things you've done.

So I must take one step at a time. Be alone, let my self be in a solitary life for a while. And learn to love again, and let kindness be my religion. (Dalai Lama: "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

Leaving.

2010-05-19T01:35:00.001-07:00

Whatever it is that I'm doing, I am trying my best. Trying my best not to lose my self with the commitments that I chose. And with all these commitments, I must avoid those that keeps me from getting them.

Kinakailangan kong matutong makalimot sa nakaraan, matuto sa nakaraan at iwasan sandali ang mga taong kailangang iwasan. Dahil kung hindi ko gagawin ang mga ito, hindi lamang ang pagiging walang kwentang nilalang ang maiitatawag sakin, isang tanga din, dahil maari ding makasira ang mga ito sa aking plano sa aking sarili.

I'm sorry.

Peace of mind.

2010-05-10T22:34:00.001-07:00

PCOS

2010-05-10T05:47:00.001-07:00

Poor PCOS machine for working too much.

My favorite tweets from PCOSmachine:

"garci already contact you pala.. how about gma? did she call u already? what did she say?" /via @d_vonn - im dropping her calls. Tama na.
Just talked to Garci. He sends his regards.
"so what happens to you after the elections? /via "@gianonline thinking of checking out bora first, then maybe try showbiz. Depends hu wins
"Matanong ko po.. bakit may defect at nag-bog down yung iba mong mga kapatid? :(" #halalan /via @marathonman89 - birth pains p0hz yun.
"Sana na-void yun ballot ni GMA. Why didn't you eat her, too @PCOSmachine?" /via @tatiny - coz she's spoiled already.
Having a hard time transmitting. Can somebody tell the PCOS next door to stop downloading Gossip Girl for awhile. Im trying to work here
Think COMELEC should have made it more clear that a vote for Jamby is not equal to a vote for Ang Ladlad Party-list.
"I was really starstrucked when I saw you live at our polling precint :))" /via @homgee - I have that effect on people. Most are dumbfounded
Drinks on me tonight. Well actually it was added to my acquisition cost, so drinks on you Filipino People! Kampay!
My #1 goal in life is to ensure a clean, honest, and orderly elections. 2nd is to remove Justin Beiber from trending topics.
Talked to the others, we're thinking of starting a PCOS party list for 2013 elections. Consensus is @jabjimenez will be our 1st nominee.
"defective ka? or are those your cousins from China?" /via @mariczar - im a unique model. Made in China, Designed by Apple in California
A moment of silence please for my fellow PCOS machines who perished in Camarines Sur in the line of duty. They were so young and expensive.
"So why did you fold when you and anchor Ron Cruz had a staredown?" /via @japsmedina - FYI that wasn't me, twas my cousin. Nervous breakdown
"Is your @PCOSmachine a spitter or a swallower?" /via @sedriddick- under d law, we cannot swallow, we hav 2 spit it out after. Unless ur hot
"@PCOSmachine Why do you look like a large trashcan with screen?" /via @clarriscent - don't judge me please, I am not a book.
Why does @PCOSmachine have a Twitter account?! =))))))) #halalan /via @pingchung91 - well, I hav wifi, might as well make the most out of it
I agree with everyone, Smartmatic's Cesar Flores is kinda cute. Only met him once when he gave a pep talk to us PCOS machines.
No joke, just read a ballot with a CHECK mark for Villar. Also had a marking, "baby james". Weird.
Hearing talks that voting will be extended until 11pm. COMELEC better pay me overtime.
Cannot wait for liquor ban to end. I need a drink.
"CONGRATULATIONS your vote has been counted"
I can confirm that ERAP did not vote for a vice president on his ballot. I heard him say na trauma na daw sya kay GMA.
Please don't blame us PCOS machines. We're doing our best. Just shade the bilog na hugis itlog and I'll do the rest for you. :) #halalan
Can somebody please send me water? I'm overheating and I'm thirsty after eating all these ballots. ktnx

This time we'll take it slow.

2010-05-10T02:00:00.001-07:00

Living simply.

I am on my way to absolute simple living. Living like that, I think, eliminates the chaos of my old life. It makes me focus more on much important things and go spend my time with the people I value the most.

However, it takes time. It is so hard for me to get rid of my old habits, including the bad ones. Knowing my goals and the ones that are very important to me, I know what I should do.

As Zen Habits, my favorite site, said. It is not a simple process. It is a journey.

Why am I doing this? For the past months/years. I have been focusing too much on myself. My ego and superego weren't given too much of importance. And I realized that I have hurt too many people because of thinking of my beneficiaries all the time. So there, I decided I wanted to change.

I made a list of all the things that I should give up. I've also thought of being with the people who can be a good influence to me, since I used to be persuaded easily.

I've learned to say No. Saying No to things that will distract myself from my commitments.

I've learned to simplify my things. I had to declutter my closet. I've changed my rules when it comes to shopping. Well, actually, I seldom shop anymore.

I'm learning not to eat too much. Actually, I want to try vegan diet but cheeseburger is my favorite. So yeah, I'm screwed. Anyway, I had to give up the amount of my food intake. Really.

I've learn how to wake up early. But...

I've also learn how to get things slow so I became late in classes frequently. I'm working on that.

I also became a fan of walking. Yes, walking. Since I don't go to the gym anymore, I needed to do some things that will also help me lose weight.

I spend my time people whom I love. Whom I trust. I don't need a lot of friends, I have my very own trustable friends.

I also love spending time ALONE. I commute by myself, go to the market/mall all by myself or wait for my boyfriend somewhere without complaining the time I've spent sitting there.

I've learned what enough means. Our life is so worldly, too materialistic, and we spend our savings on non-essential things.

---------

I've learned so many things for the past months and I am so willing to learn more. Why am I doing this? Bec. this is almost how Christ lived way back then. He lived here simply and didn't ask for pleasures in life. Why? Bec. he was more focused in his goals and purpose.

Lines.

2010-05-08T19:27:00.001-07:00

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

There are only eight people whom I allow myself to cross my boundaries. My family and that' already six, Jools and Mylene. I guess some people think that they know me too well, but all the time, I set boundaries. I don't let people in esp. when I know they are not trustable enough to keep everything that I say to them.

Also, setting boundaries keeps me from being private. When I let people in, I also give them the power to hurt me.

I know that I am being safe, but this is just what I've learned from people.

I am Pro Noynoy.

2010-04-27T05:11:00.001-07:00

Why am I still choosing Noynoy over the other presidentials? Why do I still prefer him inspite of the fact that most of my friends are voting for Gibo or Gordon?

In spite of my few free times, I think I have to write a posts why am I supposed to be voting Noynoy. Here's the thing, I just received the news from my dad that my registration for this MAY 2010 election was not finished. It saddened me kasi nga, sayang ang one vote ko kay Noynoy. So yes, maybe I am just trying to make up for not being able to vote in this election.

Before voting, why should we assess ourselves? What is our perspective on our future president?

People tend to give all the responsibilities of our country to our president.

Parang leader lang sa thesis. Feeling natin, siya lahat gagawa. That is a wrong perspective. A true leader influences people. It doesn't mean that if a person is a graduate of a good school with a lot of academic achievements or that he came from a poor family means that we are all saved from all our debts and struggles.

People say that, "Eh kung di nga siya corrupt, kung corrupt naman yung ibang politicians?"

Filipinos are becoming so negative already that they are being blinded with the opportunity of finally having a president who wouldn't dare to get money from our own taxes. Filipinos are actually accepting the fact that being a corrupt is one of trait of a president.

People are more of visual.

Not only being visual with the advertisements and the like, they are also being deceived by the platforms. Platforms are okay as long as they are not giving us false reassurances. That is why I don't give much importance of the platforms. Just like promises, some of it are meant to be broken.

So there. We have the problem. Whoever our president will be, it will go down to this: Blaming our president for whatever struggles are country will be facing. Bakit? Siya lang ba ang may responsibilidad sa pilipinas? We also have other government officials and why blame only the president?

And ano ba reklamo natin? Hindi ba pagiging corrupt ng president?

I was twitting about who's to vote a long time ago and a member of APO Hiking Society, Jim Paredes replied and told me, "Vote the honest one who will stop corruption. Talent and skill can be hired to join the cabinet." So there you go, that is one of the reasons why I am voting for Noynoy.

Some also believes that Noynoy uses his parents and not his skills and knowledge. First, hindi niyo iboboto si Noynoy as a Senator if he doesn't have enough skills and knowledge. Second, sige sabihin na natin he use his parents. Ikaw ba? Di ka magiging proud if anak ka ni Ninoy at Cory Aquino? Sabihin na natin na that is one of the reasons why he's not corrupt, kasi he's the son of our heroes.

Yun lang.

Popoy and Basha

2010-03-28T03:33:00.001-07:00

May lovelife nako ULIT. Emphasis on the word "ULIT".
I have a new dog. It's a four-months-old shitzu puppy. His name is POPOY.

I am now a graduate with a degree in BS Nursing.

I haven't finished reading Udan's book yet. :(
I am already flooding the streams on twitter. Sorry.
I gained a little weight because I stopped going to gym. Maybe I will go back after boards.
I don't know why but I get a pleasure when I'm being productive. Such as doing the HOUSEHOLD CHORES. Yes, HOUSEHOLD CHORES.
I am almost going back to a stable life. Wait, the better version of my usual stable life.

Manigong bagong taon!

2009-12-31T20:05:00.001-08:00

Wala akong pakialam sa mga hindi makakabasa na to na hindi marunong magtagalog, isama narin yung mga ibang nagpapanggap na hindi marunong magtagalog. Show off!

Excited kong sinalubong ang 2010 kaninang 12 midnight. Yun na kasi ang hudyat para kumain ng mga masasarap na pagkain na niluto ni Ate Sol na natutunan niya sa Italia. Sa totoo lang, pwede siyang magtayo ng Italian Restaurant, uber sarap kasi! Naexcite din ako kasi first time naming bumili ng Luces ni Paula. Dati kasi sina Daddy lang bumibili ng mga paputok na nakakatakot. Kaso nga lang, na-fake kami ni manong tindero, walang mga laman ang ibang Luces na binenta niya samin. Sana this year, magbago na siya.

Masaya namin ginunita ang 2010. Masaya kami sa mga letrato na kasama si Paula, for the first time. Ayaw niya kasing nagpapakuha ng letrato, kaya kapag na-post na sa facebook, hinahanap siya ng mga kamaganak namin sa abroad. Bukod pa 'don, ang gaganda ng mga fireworks ng mga kapitbahay namin. Kaya mahirap talagang paniwalaan na naghihirap ang mga tao, reklamador lang sila sa mga bagay-bagay na wala sila. Kung saan-saan nila dinadala mga pera nila kasi.

Ngayon lang akong walang boyfriend sa nakalipas na limang taon. Maganda kasi ako, 'di ako nababakante. Hahaha! Joke! Di, yung totoo talaga, hindi pa ko ready dahil aayusin ko muna sarili ko. Ang gulo ko kasing tao. Pero kung biglang magparamdam si Enchong Dee sakin, ready nako agad nun.

Kahit marami akong kapalpakan nung 2009, hindi ko masasabing pangit ang taon na 'yon para sa akin. Marami akong natutunan. Hindi lang pathophysiology ng Liver Cirrhosis at paggawa ng Thesis ang natutunan ko, marami pa. Natutunan ko na hindi maganda ang epekto ng pagiging makasarili sa kahit anong aspekto sa buhay. Natutunan ko din na si Bro lang at ako ang makakatulong sa pagresolba ng nga problema ko. Natutunan kong maging maingat sa mga lalaki, na layuan ang mga may potential na mambabae. Ayoko ng machix, so in short, baka matagal akong magiging single. Konti lang kasi yung mga matitinong lalaki. Pero I trust Bro, kahit ganito ako, hindi niya ako ibibigay sa lalaking hindi karapatdapat sakin. Pero madami akong nasaktan nung 2009, yung ang mga bagay na pinagsisisihan ko. Ay, natutunan ko din palang gumawa ng maraming SOAPIEs na walang gamit na NANDA.

Natuto din akong magbisyo, pero this 2010, babawasan ko na sila. Titingnan ko muna ang bote na binigay sakin baka happy horse nanaman ang ibigay sa akin. Hindi narin ako maninigarilyo, kasi ang baduy nga talaga nun. Oo, I smoked before but not anymore. Hindi kasi bagay sakin yung mga ganyan, ibabalik ko na yung pagiging simple girl or girl-next-door ko. Hahaha. Magiging moderate drinker nalang ako at ipagpatuloy ang pagiging taga-ubos ng pulutan ng mga kasama ko.

Masaya ako kasi madami akong nakilalang new friends. Wala lang, sino bang hindi masaya dun?

Anyway, tinatamad nako. Pagdasal niyo nalang na bumait ako. Magpakabait na tayo para kay Bro!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Trivias: 1) Madaming beses kong na type ang "2012" imbes na 2010. 2) Memorize ko na Commercial Jingle ni Villar kahit hindi siya ang iboboto ko.

♪Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?
Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
Yan ang tanong namin,
Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?

Nalaman mo na bang mapapag-aral ka nya?
Tutulungan tayo para magka-trabaho?
At kanyang plano'y magka-bahay tayo?

Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap.
si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit.
Si Villar ang may kakayahan
At gumawa ng sariling pangalan.

Si Manny Villar ang magtatapos
ng ating kahirapan.♪

Borderline.

2009-12-19T16:59:00.001-08:00

Everything, everyone, every creation seems to move in a fast pace. You have to have some attention when crossing the streets because it seems that almost all cars are in a hurry. Attending a class even if your ill body won't allow you to is also essential because you couldn't afford to lose a discussion or else you won't catch-up with the next. Student nurses focus too much on their SOAPIES rather than with their nursing interventions. We got fast food, instant coffee, instant noodles. Everything is ready for us with just one click.

I live in a world where the Indians go here, in the Philippines, to study Medicine, where the Koreans go here to learn English and where majority of the Filipinos study Nursing and go to America.

We live in a world where there is hatred and love, where there is rush and discontentment. No matter how perfect things are to help you get into somewhere on time, still lies the question of, "Does everything you've done in a rush gave you a good quality of outcome?"

We move in a fast world, some would run, some would go slow and some wouldn't even dare to move and choose to die.

We all go in a fast speed but we're in a hurry for the unimportant things. It's like choosing to die everyday and not choosing to live.

1-2-3 cheese!

2009-12-12T18:18:00.001-08:00

MIA

2009-11-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

It was a sunny afternoon and I was deciding what to wear. I asked my sister to help me buy something at the mall. In the past weeks, I spend hours on deciding what clothes to wear. Yes, that’s just being a girl. I got tired with the usual clothes that I always wear. It frightens me that I might be materialistic and superficial with that. Anyway, I saw my sister’s skirt and thought on giving it a try. It’s been a while since I wore a skirt—excluding my school and hospital duty days. I also asked to borrow her tank top which actually suits the skirt. After dressing up, I looked myself in the mirror. “Look how girly you are, you should wear these kinds more often” said by my ego. In addition to that, I am very comfortable.

I’m tired with my old habits just like how I got tired with how I dress myself up. I was reading a book called “I kissed dating goodbye”. If someone who knows me reads this, I know what that person will think. Reading this book beside me contradicts myself. But guess what? It really helps. Everything Joshua Harris about how dating and relationships in this world happens hit me because of feeling guilty. I was guilty that I did those things. I was guilty about how my past relationships were. I realized that SOME of my past relationships were too superficial. I was wasting time giving my heart to people with no assurance that what we have was for real.

The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.

It is absurd that I am saying these things, knowing me--knowing myself. But what I loved with this book near me is that it gave me lessons on how important it is to live in a Christ-like way especially when it comes to romance and relationships.

So yes, I want my old habits to be thrown when it comes to men. No, I won’t avoid being friends with men. But I will not rush into falling in love unless there comes assurance. More to that, I will not rush being committed unless it is really LOVE. For awhile, God told me to enjoy my singlehood and enjoy wearing skirts.

Really, this 195php worth of book is really worth it.

On the other side.

2009-11-27T19:01:00.001-08:00

Don’t assume that guys won’t care where you are, because we do. It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren’t off flirting with guys we’ve never heard of. Also, don’t talk about your ex-boyfriends. We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them. When you do, you’re asking your boyfriend to be jealous. You’re asking your boyfriend to lose trust. On that, don’t hump everything that walks into the room. We don’t care if you talk to other guys. We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys. But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there. Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/ beautiful/gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don’t tell us we’re wrong. We’ll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me. Don’t be mad when we hold the door open. Smile and say “thank you.” Let us pay for you. Don’t “feel bad.” We enjoy doing it. It’s expected.Smile and say - everybody together now - “thank you.” Kiss us when no one’s watching. If you kiss us when you know nobody’s looking we’ll be more impressed. You don’t have to get dressed up for us. If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are. Don’t flirt with guys when we’re not around. We’ll find out. Trust us. We have eyes everywhere. And when we find out, we’re pissed. Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you. Don’t take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don’t get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don’t talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us. It’s boring, and we don’t care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word “handsome”? Why does everything have to be “hot/sexy”? I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with “Hey handsome!” instead of “Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy” or whatever else you can think of. Claiming girls or guys to be “hot” shows immaturity. Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you are being treated wrong by a guy, don’t wait for him to change. Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect. Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest. - astrolovershearts

It's not because that I reblogged this I already agreed with this. No no no.

Mami.

2009-11-27T18:08:00.001-08:00

After our night shift duty, my groupmates and I planned on eating one of the best mami here in Angeles. It is only a few blocks away from the hostel, where AUF buses have their stop, so we had to walk. When we arrived there, I noticed three things. One, there are a lot of customers. Two, you have no place to sit but on the front porch of the stores. After getting my very own mami, I put chilli and a pepper (I love pepper, btw) on it and also calamansi. When we finally sat on our place and started to eat our mami, I understand why it's one of the best in our town. Aside from all of its contents and how it was cooked, what I also loved about it is that it can be personalized. You'll be the one to add the spices according to how you want it to taste like. I was focusing too much on my mami, forgetting that I have company in that moment.

The third thing that I also noticed is that different people were enjoying their own mami. Students nurses, group of men, lovers, kids etc. I realized how lovely it is seeing people eat there, seeing that we are all equal when it comes to mami. Before that night, we were also eating mami outside the hospital, Lhey was shocked that I eat THAT kind of food. Hmmn, it's quite awkward to tell this but my parents have some money for Lhey to say that. But with my appetite, how could I not eat those kinds of food? I will be missing a lot if I won't eat streetfoods.

Again, getting back on the side of the road, seeing that all is fair and equal when it comes to mami made me think that it is the most ideal living we must all have. It's not about eating streetfoods all the time because your stomach might get tantrums like I do now. But its like how equal we treat each other and how we enjoy one of the simple joys in life. God gave us all the needs we could have in this world, we are just looking for some more. Once you learn how to appreciate the simplest joys in life, you'll learn how to live in contentment.

And even though I got diarrhea and missed one day of hospital duty, I will still come back there and enjoy my mami.

Untitled.

2009-11-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

Think. I always think, overanalyze and overlook. I always forget things because I always lack focus. But look how ironic life can get, things happen greatly when it is not expected. Things happen greatly when you aim average. Things happen greatly when you accept whatever the result WILL be because it's what you deserve. Things happen greatly when I set my mind that I'm too small for a big big gift.

Random thoughts kept swirling in my brain, some of them relates with each other and some are just forms of flight of ideas. Sometimes, I think that I am being sane. Emphasis on the word, 'Sometimes'.

Random thoughts kept swirling in my brain, some stay and some leave space to be replaced with something new. That's why I don't keep promises to other people anymore. I am too unpredictable to make promises. I always change my mind.

Random thoughts kept running in my brain, some stay and some leave. some are memories and some are just dreams...

Random thoughts kept running in my brain. My expectations in life used to outnumber the thoughts on accepting the reality. It took me more than a decade to accept the fact that life is no fairytale. No background music to be heard, just the strong heartbeats when something good or bad happened, is happening or will happen.

Random thoughts kept running in my brain, telling me to stop being a fool. My mind never follow what it says. Even my brain don't agree with itself and why? Because people, I am that stupid.

Things I learned from a tooth extraction.

2009-11-14T04:33:00.001-08:00

I can handle pain. Pain in the heart, stomach, headache, etc., but there's one pain that I couldn't bear, toothache. I don't know what a tooth can do to a person's entire body when it has tantrums. I'm at my lowest when even just one tooth has tantrums. And when my tooth asked me to let it go, I gave want it really wants.

Proper oral hygiene. Flossing is really important.
Drink lots of fluids
Drink the medicines on time.
Cut down the vices
Eat anything you want as long as you're alive and especially when you're not in pain, but don't forget that your teeth wants to be taken care of.
Pamper your teeth. You'll never know who wants to see your smile, or even kiss you. (Ay, forget the second one.)
Everything I learned on handling pain, like diversional activities, deep breathing etc., never really works when you have a toothache. Except for pain meds.
When your scheduled for dental operation, especial tooth extraction, expect the worst.
Having three anesthesia means it's really fucking painful.
You'll need support from your family and friends DURING the tooth extraction. Thanks Ate Sol and Dra!
Crying is okay after the tooth extraction. *But I didn't, okay?
Prepare money for ice cream.
I'm very quiet whenever toothache disrupts my life.
I'm very loud and manic when I experience the aftermath of the tooth extraction.
That my parents never fail to spoil me when something's wrong with me. Thanks for the ice cream, meds and love.
Cut down the vices. Have a healthy lifestyle. There's more pain in life that I might not handle.
Pain, after tooth extraction, goes for only a day. So stop whining and go to your dentist.
Don't forget to thank your Dentist. Thanks Kuya Yek!

Really. I'm not overly dramatic. It really sucks whenever I have toothache. I'm not scaring you either. When your dentist tells you to have a tooth extraction, just nod and say yes. And then prepare yourself. PREPARE.

On the brighter side.

2009-11-12T09:31:00.001-08:00

I always label my stuffs (Handouts, notebooks etc) not just simply writing "Gyk" on it. It's "Prettygykever". Oh yes, I am beautiful.

I won't deny it, my mom won't. You may think that I got a big and thick head but don't you want to have one too?

Some wants to be skinny, fat, hunk, flawless or to have the face of some celebrity that they adore. It's ok to do things in order to achieve them and it's even ok to dream. But there are times when we whine too much on the things that we lack of physically and focusing too much on them as if there are no other beautiful things that can be seen in us.

And why do people want to be beautiful physically? Because of the failure of realizing that love is far different from infatuation. Infatuation is loving the person because of the lady's body figure. Love is falling inlove unexpectedly with someone who never met the criteria of our ideal partner. Infatuation can lead to Love. But never act as if you're inlove when you know it's just infatuation.

Old saying: We are all beautiful.

You, Him, Her, Me, Everyone is beautiful. Even my enemies are beautiful. We just don't know how to work on looking on the brighter side. I'm not just talking about the physical beauty that we all have but what should be stressed out in this are the ones that are inside us. No matter how negative or positive they are, beautiful parin tayo!

Why? We all created by just the same GOD we are all praying to everyday. God who never fails to love us all equally. Everything that God made is beautiful, even the cockroach that made me scream awhile ago. Even the person that I used to hate. Inspite of all the people's diversity, I realized how beautiful they can be. I even appreciated how awfully beautiful it is when some have a fight.

You may not appreciate what made someone or something beautiful but later on, I'm hoping and praying that you will.

P.S. I want to watch GG na! And God knows how much I want their tandem back as lovers but that seems impossible already. :(

No sweat, Love to sweat.

2009-11-12T07:45:00.001-08:00

Pardon me for the title, this just reminded me of my old groupmate but it really has something to do with an another senseless post.

I'm loving how productive yet unstressful my life has been. I'm learning how to apply simple and minimalistic life already. So cute. Cute? How? Basta cute.

Activities of Daily Living

Pray (Been visiting Carmelite frequently nowadays)
Study
Community or Hospital Duty
Requirements
Read
Ice Cream (Cornetto love)
Workout! Yes!
Enjoy breathing

Activities of Weekly Living

School/Duty
Read/Study/School Works
Blog
Out with Ate Sol
Hangout at Ate Sol's Bakery
Out with friends
Enjoy breathing.

(Click to enlarge)

My life is average.

2009-11-08T17:08:00.001-08:00

Last night, I prepared all my things needed for today's classes even though I have fever and serious tooth ache. This morning, when I was about to go to school, I received messages from my groupmates asking where am I. My class is 7 am and it's fucking 7:45. I thought our class was 8am. Assuming girl, I know. So yes, my life is average. I'm still depress about this one right now.

I deactivated my facebook and kept my other online accounts here privately. I just keep my blog and twitter. I also keep tumblr but for the sake of browsing interesing photos, videos or texts that people share there. I'm trying to be more low-profile than ever. Been reading blogs about simple and minimalistic life for the past few months and somehow, I've been really into them. Yun lang. 'La nakong masabi, I'm so depress eh. ;(

Where do broken hearts go?

2009-11-03T02:53:00.001-08:00

Maybe sometimes you have to stop waiting for someone to come along and fix what’s wrong. Maybe you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that no one else has the answer. Sometimes you just have to be your own hero - happified

For all the times that we've been hurt by someone, we find ways to be healed by looking for someone else. The media and other people let us think that the answers to our problems when it comes to broken hearts are seen in other people. Love, romantically speaking, has been overrated. It's a bit disappointing that some people think that it is the end of the world when they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend to share holidays with or to be kissed by someone on New Year's or Christmas Day.

After everything, people and even I have been through, I think that finding happiness and love in others is dumb and a waste of time. I have it here, and I can make myself happy in my own ways. You have it there, you're just blinded. I don't have to depend my happiness in others. I don't have to depend the long for being loved in one boy because I have my family, friends and especially God. I know that what am I saying is no-brainer, but why the hell people keep on forgetting this? Why do they have to whine for not having a boyfriend, make a dating profile or go desperately for whoever guy that knocks on her door? There's only one author of our love life, and that is only God. So wag excited, Love comes in unexpected moments. Just learn how to trust God. Stop whining and complaining, enjoy the sweetness of the singlehood.

And when the person has finally arrived in your life, don't hesitate to open that door. Don't be stupid enough not to see/realize that it is really love that is knocking on your door. God planned on that person & moment to happen, perfectly enough to make your heart go on its happiest state.

Are you in?

2009-11-01T21:10:00.001-08:00

We watch movies or tv shows and read books or articles about how a person (usually a teenager) have some troubles with fitting-in with the society. Let me drop off of what I really think, Everyone suffers that problem. And when you encounter someone who thinks he/she don't think fitting-in is a problem, show that person to me and allow me to tell the rest.

Sooner or later, you will realize that fitting-in with everyone is a waste of time. I did. We all have unique finds, whether they can be tolerated or not. No stereotypes or labels can fully describe us. We are too complex to be described in words. Plus, change always happen. So fitting-in isn't the right phrase, I think we should focus more on how we let ourselves to be included in one's life. On how we can contribute in their happiness or even sadness.

Me? I can surprise people. I'm always unpredictable. I don't let myself fit-in with others, but I let myself in with the people who deserves to be IN my life. When a person tries to fit-in with some world they want to be, they tend to follow rules and ways which are sometimes, against with their principles. With my life, I am free to do whatever I want. No judgements & no gossips matter to me. I can be mean when I have or want to mean. I am still capable of being nice even when it's not necessary. I can be artistic, religious, responsible, or whatsoever. It's like choosing the type of clothing. Jocks wear sporty or varsity jackets all the time. Models wear fashion labeled clothing. Goths wear dark clothes. It-girls wear the newest fashion found in the magazine. Geeks wear preppy clothes. ETC. ETC. ETC. But in my situation, wherein I don't fit-in and don't categorize myself to some label, I can choose any clothing anytime.

Fuck the labels and stop limiting yourself.

Lalalala.

2009-11-01T20:30:00.001-08:00

Before the sembreak started, I listed the things that I want to accomplish. I didn't meet them all 'coz my sembreak shouldn't be really called "sembreak". I spent most of it in school, helping our leader with our thesis.

~~Be enrolled~~
~~Exercise everyday~~
~~Clean my room esp. my desk~~
~~Set up the Christmas Tree~~
~~Play christmas songs every morning~~
~~Make new deviations~~
Prepare merienda
~~Prepare breakfast~~
Pass the group's thesis
~~Download and watch 500 Days Of Summer~~
~~Read more about zen habits and minimalistic life~~
~~Finish Chuck season 2~~
~~Give away the stuffs that I don't really need~~
Finish reading Northanger Abbey
~~Go to Drazelle's Farmville with our other groupmates~~
~~Update blog~~
Buy new shoes.

See? Out of 17 plans that I made for this sembreak, I met 13 them. So somehow, I'm quite improving.

*So sorry for the title, can't think of anything sane.

The best preparation for tomorrow is today

2009-11-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

Classes will start on the 3rd of November. Not only that it will start on my favorite day but it also reminds me that this will be the last semester (hopefully) that I will ever going to have.

I'm not yet ready to get out from being a student. In spite of all the times that I felt lazy to go to school, I still love being a student. I'm not ready yet, but of course we can't change how the clock works. We must also move our hands, the same way like how our clock does.

Another thing is that I am going to miss Group 39/55. I've spent two semesters with them and there were even times that we were together 24/7. I am surely gonna miss those blooper moments and the times when we reminisce them and just laugh about them. I know a lot of things happened, good & even bad, but I really love them all! Yes, all of them. Ironic, but if someone wants to protest with what I have said, just text me and I'll explain it to you dear.

Last Saturday, FEW of my groupmates spent our time having fun at drazelle's farmville! Sure, we were only five who went there but it was a blast. Grocery, bus commuters, laklak on sooo many foods, videoke, tiring picture taking, fake fishing, the bar, popcorn and crackers, power of two, and mooore! So yes, it was fun. Next time, we'll make sure that we're all complete when we go there.

Anyhow, even though we are not groupmates anymore, we are still in the same section and 3 of them remained as my groupmates padin. Love love!

Talk less. Listen more.

2009-10-29T16:36:00.001-07:00

It never occurred in my mind that a person who taught me a lot of things about life will disappoint me.

For years, I've been admiring this person's wisdom and how enlightening they are. Most of the advices given by this person were very useful. During my miserable life, this person is one of the people that I usually run to for help.

But behind this teachings, some unreasonable inhibitions exist in him. Seriously, isn't it contradicting when an adviser keeps a closed mind? And in everyday of his life, how could he face his students then?

Seriously...

I won't let it pass when someone accuses me of something which I have not done.
I'm disappointed when someone would rather talk than listen.
I don't adjust for the others when they are not doing the rightful things. And don't expect that everyone will ever adjust for your bad behaviors.
Generalizing the whole idea of one aspect of a person because of one mistake (if you still see it a mistake) inhibits a person to see his/her beautiful side.
Overreacting leads to overdramatic moment. An overdramatic moment leads to mess.
When I'm extremely mad & offended, things won't ever go out fine.

That's all I have to say.

All the single ladies!

2009-10-25T19:09:00.001-07:00

This is the longest time of being single for the past 5 years. I'm not being overly dramatic for not having someone around me but I'm looking on the brighter side and enjoying the benefits of staying single. There are still so many things that I've learned on being single other than the following but I just decided to focus more on this ones.

Staying single makes yourself a public temptation.

Independency.

Fine, you always report where you are, where you go, what you will do, who's with you etc. etc. I know this can depend upon the couple but most of the time, this happens. You have a human twitter when you're in a relationship. Especially in our era, texts and wi-fi spots are everywhere.

But staying single makes you feel free and being able to do whatever you want. No human twitter can stop you from enjoying yourself in being free.

Love thyself.

Sure. They keep on saying that we have to love ourselves first before loving others. But let's admit that this always fail. And, when we are in a relationship, it always happen when we think of our partners first before ourselves.

Gorgeous.

It's always flattering when a guy asks for your number, or a guy who has a little crush on you pm you on facebook. This makes you even more beautiful. Plus, since I only focus on myself, I have the tendency for always looking at my best.

No boys, no cry.

Being madly inlove will give you the risks for having your heart crushed. Love hurts. That won't ever change.

Still, all of these won't ever replace the true happiness when you're inlove. But while I'm not yet attached, I'll still enjoy the pleasure of being single.

Latest Works.

2009-10-19T19:39:00.001-07:00

Seatbelt.

2009-10-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

My mind was fluttering somewhere else as I was doing my reports in CHN. It was somewhere, reminiscing the past, thinking how awful my life has been since I met that guy. The guy who ruined my life, the guy who sucked all the luck that I have in me and replaced it with misfortune ones.

But instead of fighting this aura to get out of my way, I realized that I should be the one who must stay away because of the fear of being overly contaminated.

I remember Kuya Bong, a feng shui expert, telling us yesterday that we should be with people who have postive outlook in life and not those who give us full of stresses. Yes, there are people who have full of problems, but we must not let ourselves being sunk because of their problems.

I also realized that life is simple, people are just making it complicated. That’s why we view our lives very complex. If we worry about how much work that we had to do for the entire day, isn’t it better if we accept lesser work than do it at an early time? We will be able to have the best quality of our works and submitting them on time. Because in that case, we can practice in focusing one problem at a time.

I also realized how easy it is to simplify life. I love it when they tell me that I look simple. Really. I always love being called as a “simple girl”, no matter how much funny it seems to be. ;)

Yesterday, I made an additional list regarding the non-essential things that I must eradicate in my life. I also made an additional list of those whom I must avoid in order to have peace of mind.

Last night, I made all the expense list for this week and thought of how am I going to save money. I spent most of money on fastfoods and consuming products which are not really that practical. Plus, I am so broke.

If you’re going to assess my life 5-10 years before, I was really living with a silverspoon in my mouth. I was addicted buying new stuffs that I don’t really need. I was also addicted in having a brand new cellphone. Right now, I’m still using my Nokia 1202, which is not colored but I can do anything that I need with it, even if my Nokia E65 is already fixed.

With this simplicity that I aim for, I can do better things at a time and accept new challenging challenges.

“You’ve been wearing a seatbelt your whole life. I think it’s time to unclip.” Barney of How I Met Your Mother.

Life Mother, Like Son.

2009-09-27T10:49:00.001-07:00

I know, right? And while everyone is crying out for help, look who's busy buying for some wine.

Oh yes, ladies and gents, it's Mikey Arroyo in Rustan's Liquor Section. This family must learn how to hide their dirty habits. Really.

Physiologic Needs.

2009-09-26T23:19:00.001-07:00

I couldn't imagine myself being affected from the disaster of the Typhoon Ondoy has done. Everyone is crying for help. Actually, they were already begging for help. Other people and non-government corporations decided to take actions. But what about our government? Yes, they helped. But ironically, they take actions right away during political conferences or interviews, dinners or parties and corrupting the Philippines. But it took them to wait for the people to BEG for help before doing something.

And what about the youth? Do their parents teach them on being aware?

How Ironic. How pitiful it has been.

Still, we must be grateful that there are still numerous people who decided to help, to volunteer in giving out their helping hand.

PRAYER. AWARENESS. PRAYER. DONATIONS. PRAYER. These are all essential at this moment.

As a child.

2009-09-26T22:37:00.001-07:00

Each word that springs out into the world, they're all because of this heart and my truthfulness.

As a child, I always believed that I'll grow up as an average person, marry someone who also prefer my simple living and live up then die discreetly. I always thought that I will be living a life, being stagnant on my safe zone. No pushing through limits, no discoveries but only allowing the discovered to be in my own awareness. But currently, this is not what is happening to me now. All of which are happening in the opposite way.

As a child, I never thought I would be reading books other than with those that the provide us in school. I now collect books, almost having my own library in my little room.

As a child, I never though I could have a talent. I never thought I would be digitally inclined with arts.

As a child, I never thought I would write like this. Never thought I would be writing this.

Instead, because of living in this cruel world, life made its beautiful way to make me grow up into a more sensible human. Active and not passive.

Gone Good

2009-09-25T19:02:00.001-07:00

Brand New.

I am slowly letting go of all the non-essential things, and even people, in my life.

We keep on complaining how we are too stressed out with all the things that we are doing. We keep on complaining the way other people treat us. But complaining is a lame verb which don't really do much of actions. It's wise if we do something about this & It's wise if we do ways to let all of these friction STOP.

I am currently disengaging myself on the tasks which are not very important in this life. As I read my favorite sites, I learned how to simplify my life. Being productive but doing lesser things. In that way, I can focus more with what I am doing and have a better quality of what I have worked for.

I also have to avoid people who keep on pushing me down. Not that I am afraid of more pain, but I actually had enough from the pain that they have given me at first.

Actually, I have changed. But I still want to change more in this life.

List of Things & Traits that I have to let go:

Impulsive consuming
Spending too much time on the Internet and TV
Fast Foods, Junk Foods or any unhealthy foods.
Vices
Talking about other people.
Pointing the negative things on people
Complaining
Luxuries

People whom I must let go:

People who push me down.
People who attack me most of the time.
People who have hurt me a hundred of times.
People who talk behind my back.
People who are selfish.
People who lie.
People who are unjust.
People who think to high of themselves. Those who are boastful, too proud but not deserving for giving an honor.
and mooore.

(The lists will go on, these are just temporary)

Why am I doing this?

So that I could focus more with my goals. So that I could focus more on the people who deserves my time, and those who I really love.

Goal Partially Met.

2009-09-23T18:09:00.001-07:00

Why not try?

Last Bitterness.

2009-09-23T17:46:00.001-07:00

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN MONTHS BEFORE.... And this will be the last.

To a friend who wouldn't even like to follow what I recommend,

What a waste of time that I spent putting so much effort on the moments I had with you. I'm not bitter that you failed me, I actually became when you ulcerized an entire deep shit on the main organ of my own cardiac system. You even made me think that my brain cells were not functioning well. Well at least I was save by the bell. Fine, you hurt me. But I left you. You failed me. And that's done.

What actually irritates me the most is how you reacted with what had happened right after ending the dumbest time of our lives--or maybe just mine. It irritates me that you actually think that it's my loss. Fuck you whoever thinks that fucking shithead is right. If you are, you lacked pyridoxine when you were still a child--with immature and undeveloped nerve cells. Am pissing you of yet? I'm not yet done.

No matter how good you think you are, you're still, without a doubt, one of the dumbest asshole I have ever met in my entire life because of lying and cheating on me because you thought I would never find out the truth. You say you're still full of luck? I'd rather let you say you're too full of shit for making me feel stupid. I was stupid but I'm not THAT stupid to tolerate the things you've been doing for the past 5 months. You think you're smart for analyzing "limited" information, but you lack hard work and you're too abundant with ignorance and arrogance. Am I pissing you off yet? I'm not even done yet.

You say that you're full of appeal and all. You're just a manipulative lying and cheating jerk to even get beautiful women like me. Chickenshit to add more adjectives with that. Have I ruined your dignity yet? That's not even enough for how you ruined mine, shithead. You say you love only one person at a time and that you stick to only one girl at a time? Stop babbling shitty things like that. You're just making your sin list even longer. You're just making yourself a fool because no one believes you now. You're so stupid to think we will believe anything you say as if we are all gullible 4-year-old kids. Am I pissing you off already? Not yet enough.

No matter how much luxurious brands, whether an imitation or with those of unfortunate original brands to land your own skin, YOU ARE STILL A TRASH TO ME. You think you have grown up. Maybe physically coz you look old and that your muscle atrophies consistently. But mentally, emotionally and even spiritually, you still lack maturity and development. I don't know why. Maybe it's congenital or idiopathic, whatever. You're mind works narrowly or to make it just clear, you're mind is too fickle that if I were you, I wouldn't even let myself talk at all. Oh yes, I'm not yet done. This will never be enough.

You think you are too hot for having beautiful girls? You just know how to manipulate and use "tactful" lies with them. You got them by being a fraud and not through honest and sincere words.

You think too highly of yourself. You think everyone is afraid of you. You think you deserve a respect. Again, who are you kidding? Thinking that way and LIVING that way is just plain stupid. For everything you've done, for every actions that you are doing, yes--plain stupid.

Plain stupid.

I'm not mad because of what you did to me. I'm mad because of how you reacted, are still doing and have become after I LEFT you, you stupid proud, gold-faking asshole.

And lastly, how the hell do you think that I still believe every lies you make? It's just like your very own addiction, you cannot live a life without lying. I know you too well, too well to know that you are in fact, lying. Stop lying to the world especially to yourself, liar.

Maybe this one is enough. For now.

I warned myself not to talked when my mouth of full of shit. But I can't help it.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

2009-09-21T01:33:00.001-07:00

I have real plans on making a sensible post today. Yet, for so many minutes that my Windows Live Writer is waiting, I haven't typed a word until I stumbled upon with this site.

These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Well no one knows dear. I might die young and not suffer from an Alzheimer's

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never Trying seems like you're always on your safe zone, not letting yourself to experience the extremes of the good and the bad. I'd rather fail and learn than being stagnant and ignorant

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

It actually depends with the person. I've read books and even blogs, teaching us how to live in a simple life and how to do less yet having a meaningful life.
It can also be based upon the person's motivation why they do things that they don't like especially when money is their focusing on.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I would have done more than saying more.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Climate Change/Global Warming. I know everyone is talking about this but it's essential for us in this very moment to take plans into action in helping the mother earth. We are given a lot of opportunities to help, even in small ways, and yet we just let it pass. What's worse than that is how we keep on complaining how our leaders are not doing about this problem.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Charity Worker.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Actually, both. But I hate myself when I do things that I used to hate.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I will be living a healthy and peaceful life.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

As long as I am aware that I know what I am doing with my life and as long as I know that It's right

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing things RIGHT.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I'll tell them, in a polite way, that it is very unjust for them to say things about the person behind her back, no matter if she's my friend or not. If they still make an excuse, my fight response will do the rest.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Listen to your parents.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yes.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Yes!

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

My enthusiasm with the little things.
How I think, I have a very weird mind.
Being Unpredictable.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Well. We all have different thresholds and preferences when it comes to happiness.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

I want to be with the person that I love. Like, go after him and hug him. And what's holding me back? It doesn't mean that when both of you love each other you can already commit in one relationship. When things seems not yet right, then it's not yet time. We have to use our minds and instincts too.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yes. My laziness.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Somewhere which is not a tropical country. Somewhere peaceful and will let me live a normal and simple life.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

No. And I rarely use an elevator.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

A joyful simpleton can be a genius through hard work. So yeah, the joyful one.

Why are you, you?

Because I am comfortable in being like this.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Yes.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

When a good friend moves away. At least you guys still have the chance to keep in touch unlike with the second option.

What are you most grateful for?

This Life.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Wow. This is a tough one. Well, none. I'm sorry.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

It is possible, but there will be no thrill with that, right? So what's the point of asking first if what you're looking for is a real challenge?

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

No. Not yet.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Yes, But it doesn't really matter now.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

All of it. What makes it special is the fact that I was a child. I'm actually learning to become a childlike person.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Just a few days ago. And way back then. (My lips are sealed).

If not now, then when?

Later, basta ASAP!

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Losing the opportunity in achieving it.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because of how different their beliefs are with the others.
Because of Lack of Acceptance of the beliefs of the others.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Yes. We just sometimes don't agree with ourselves when we know it. Why? Because what we always prefer is the one beneficial to us, whether good or evil.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

I actually don't have a job. But I will use it for more education.
But If I have a job, I won't quit it as long as I think that my job is making me to become a better person than yesterday. =)

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work that I enjoy doing.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Yes. Bummer.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Last four months?

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

My mom.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

If that's the case, then no. What I am actually looking for in this life are more than fame and beauty.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being alive is living to the fullest of your limits.
Truly Living is living with a purpose.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Actually, that's what we should have been doing since we were born.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

The fear of its consequences. I, too, am experiencing that.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Going after to the person I love.
Doing things that people never expected that I'll be doing them.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

A while ago.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

Living. Period. No explanations needed for that.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Maybe not.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I am making it for myself.

Earth, Wind and More Fire.

2009-09-11T12:39:00.001-07:00

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Because I'm just too random.

2009-09-11T12:17:00.001-07:00

1. ~~Nokia E65~~ to Nokia 1202

My E65 really sucks big time. It's broken and it made me silent with the society that I'm at. Really. It even made me miss texting few people. Fine, I am being such an overdramatic person since it all happened in one day. But I really couldn't resist not having a phone in my pocket. And now, since I'm tired of fixing this beautiful phone of mine, I bought a non-complicated phone. I love it! I know it may not have the coolest features such as camera, mp3 and videos, games or any other apps but this phone amazed me that I could do so much things which are very useful. I can compose a text and make it send for a particular time, got a screen list, multi-phonebook and sooo much more. Forgive me for my superficial enthusiasm. =) And now, I don't know what to do with the old phone. Haha!

2. Dad: 'Pag bukas na Marquee Mall, bigyan kitang pera para pang-shopping."

Dad texted this message while I was in school and I immediately let Drazelle read it too. I don't know what's with my dad nowadays because he's acting really weird. Anyway, all I really want for shopping are not dresses, shoes or anything that would contradict my description of myself as a "simple girl". Moving on from an another superficial information into a slightly sensible one, all I want are coloring pencils, colored sign pens and a new mouse for my laptop. For real, my creative juices are crying out loud for them to be used. I've been busy with school lately especially with our thesis. I'll rant about thesis once we'll hear our verdict. *just crossed fingers for that.

3. Competition.

It maybe hard for some people that someone exceeds their abilities or even their excellence. However, life is so much easier when you accept that fact. Never compare, never compete with others. Play the game with yourself and only competing with yourself. That's why they keep on saying that the greatest enemy you could ever meet in your entire life is only yourself.

4. Reasons.

Once you know that you're wrong, what's the point of giving out reasons all through out? Stop defending yourself when you are in the awareness of being on the wrong side of the road.

5. Overconfidence.

It is very dangerous to stand up and speak in front of many people, thinking that you're at your best and that nothing can pull you down from the high position that you, on your own, placed yourself. That invites other people to attack you.

6. Respect.

If you think I don't deserve it, I have nothing to do with that. That's not my problem.

7. Pseudo-layer.

I am often disappointed with people nowadays based on how they act. The issue that fake people are already outnumbering the real ones makes my catecholamines being released. I experienced pain brought about by the persons whom I never expected will ever do such horrible things to me.

8. Action.

Again, stop talking shit if you won't do it anyway. Useless.

9. Friends.

Permanent.

10. From my status in FB.

It's really up to you. Blame others from your bitterness and sadness but everything that will ever happen to you will depend on the choices you'll make. It's up to you if you'll engage yourself to stress or just let it be there--just there and move on with the most important things.

Slide into my room.

2009-09-11T11:28:00.001-07:00

Aside from the fact that my life has been colorful nowadays, even my room was maintained colorful as much as possible. My groupmate, Drazelle, who sleep over in our place tells me these exact words all the time, "Masyadong magamit kwarto mo". I wouldn't say no more. I keep a lot of stuffs, I misplace them and there are times that Drazelle knows where my things are located better than I do.

Orbit.

2009-09-05T21:44:00.001-07:00

As the world orbits busily, protecting its busy people as if time always run out, someone sits and watch everything hazily, feeling sad how lonely and meaningless life has become...

People rummage into their stuffs looking for what is really missing from their hands. People keep running on their heels as if someone's waiting for them impatiently or someone is chasing after them madly. People read, write, analyze and interpret as if there's no other time to do it. We all became busy, missing out how simple life really and that only certain important things are actually in front of us.

Everyday, one sign or two appears, enlightening me that I should appreciate and simplify my life. One sign or two that I am wasting my time on not-so-important matters. One sign or two that makes me even more weak while everything is deteriorating.

Even so, this one makes me strong in spite of looking weak.

*what a not-so-understandable post...

34% Batttery Life.

2009-08-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

People kept saying that life is so short. Ironically, their attention is narrowed on the unimportant things in life--those of which that can't be called essential.

People kept saying that we all should live a life in the glory of God. Ironically, they still do things that would embarrassed the one whom we owe everything to. Worse than that, their excuse is the weakness of a human being.

People kept saying that life, in all sorrows and happiness, is the best gift we have received. Ironically, some ruin it and some do not give importance on it. Worse than that, they are unware of living a life not actually worth living.

People kept saying that we all shall forgive and forget. Ironically, we have too much bitterness and revenge inside us.

People kept saying that before uttering bad things to other people, we should look at ourselves first. Do we have to explain this?

Can't add more to this. Out of battery life.

Ironically beautiful.

2009-08-09T02:48:00.001-07:00

Audrey Hepburn once said, "happy girls are the prettiest.". I'm happy, therefore I'm pretty.

If you know what I have been going through these past few days, this may sound ironic. I've been dealing with numerous stresses in life. I've been experiencing also anger. Now that's new. As much as I want, I never let myself to feel anger. I have high tolerance when it comes to stress. I have a long patience. But being a human, I'm not perfect. I also get mad especially when I don't deserve the treatment being given to me. Especially when someone disrespects me, as well as the people that I love. Time came when few people reached the boiling point of my anger. Few of them passed way beyond my threshold.

I don't like the feeling of being angry. It makes me sick and I utterly hate it.

The problem with me is that I forgive easily. It never occurred to me that I would let something pass even if one person didn't ask for forgiveness--which I totally hate to. That fact makes me feel angry with myself. Being angry with the other person and even with yourself is the worst.

Actually, it all depends. Not talking to particular person, that would only mean that I'm letting him or her think of what made me really angry. To reflect. I That means that I love the person more... Then, when the right time comes, forgiveness will take place. But here comes an another problem: Yes, I forgive easily (to some) but I never forget. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell people that I forgive and forget. Hell, no. The truth behind not being able to forget of what actually hurt me is that it gives me warning. a warning that it might happen again. a lesson, to avoid making it happen again.

Now, even though my life seems to be stressful, I still choose to be happy. I don't let the negativity destroy the beautiful side of me. I don't let the negativity affect how I perceive life as it is. That's why this makes me even more beautiful. Literally and figuratively.

Back it up

2009-08-09T00:18:00.001-07:00

I made this blog months and months ago. I didn't shared it to both of my online and offline friends right away. I was invisibly blogging. I wanted to become a low-profile blogger.

Unlike before, I update my blog almost everyday. I can't do that these days. I work on a lot of school requirements, I'm having a hard time in studying my NCM104. I don't even have enough time with my other friends anymore. I miss hanging-out. I miss the old "all-play and less-work" life that I used to have. I also miss doing artworks in my adobe photoshop. I miss making serious webdesigns. I miss a lot of things. Anyhow, I still have to prioritize. School first always apply when it comes to this kind of things.

I was browsing my past layouts and nostalgia came running through my veins. I also remembered when my site became one of the finalist at CandMagBlogawards08 under The Best Blog design and The Best overall blog. Wish I could have enough time and even enough creative juices to do these:

(grabbed from sabrina)

Tied a yellow ribbon a hundred times.

2009-08-04T23:24:00.001-07:00

Yellow. This has become my favorite color for ages. When I was a kid, they tease me for idolizing the late President Cory Aquino. I get pissed every time that happens before, I was a kid and was not aware of everything she did which I enjoy since being born--democracy. As years went on, I learned almost everything behind the face of President Cory Aquino and Yellow. Through reading books and articles, listening to my professors in history and watching some documentary films about the Marcos Era and the People Power I, I became proud. I became proud a FIlipino, in spite of all the evil things that has happened and is happening right now, and I am also proud of myself because just like her, we both have the same taste when it comes to the choice of color no matter how shallow it may sounds.

Watching the interviews of the children of the late President Cory Aquino and late Senator Ninoy Aquino, makes my heart melt. My tearducts really has this ability to malfunction all the time. I don't cry easily. I have strong and resistant tearducts. Hindi mababaw luha ko, promise. However, when it comes to family and this, these tearducts couldn't resist to flow the tears. Watching the funeral, which is being broadcast on ABS-CBN, I was able to come up with so many realizations. From listening at the homily of Father Arevalo until the end of Kris Aquino's (their youngest daughter) speech, I was all in tears. Literally, I was crying.

Knowing the highlights of the lives of the Aquino family, many thoughts struck me. Cory Aquino is a true and ideal modern filipina. She is capable of mixing her faith and duties with the country. She's strong enough to stand up for her views and fight for it. She's also strong enough against every temptations. She's gentle yet brave. She's simple and just to everyone. Her faith reminded me how I became far with God. Her love for our own country made me realized that I should become self-less. Her love for her family made me realize how much I love my own mother. God, People and Family. Simple yet too difficult to maintain our responsibility on those top three priorities.

What really moved me by all of this is because of my mom. I see my mom with the late president. Like Tita Cory, my mom also conceals every pain and struggle she's been through because she's our strength. Very prayerful and has a strong faith with God. My mom is also aware and concern with the country (I actually got that trait incase it's not so obvious). More importantly, she loves us and assuring that we all feel it.

Almost everyone who is aware of the country's loss is in deep grievance. It reminded me on the basic values we should have---faith, courage and love. It also reminded me of hope, that it is still possible to have a leader like her, who is trust-worthy. That loving selflessly is a true characteristics of a good person. And lastly, to become prayerful which I forget most of the time for this past few months. What a shame, I know. But knowing Filipinos, after passing this grief we have for the late president, all the realizations we all made might be forgotten. That always happen. It's all over in the history, not only in this country but also from all places in this world. Sad but true. We keep on forgetting that the "Filipinos are worth dying for".

Busy girl

2009-08-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Been busy for a few weeks lately because of school works, especially our thesis. I won't say that we're fortunate or rather, "lucky" because of having a special holiday for everyone tomorrow--it's the burial of the Former President Cory C. Aquino. But atleast I have enough time to take back all the energy that I lost from all the stressful events that I had lately. Yes, emphasis on the word stressful. Still, as an optimistic lad that I am, I perceive that word as a beneficial one.

Anyway, since I found my old habit (blogging) back, I decided to make my new layout. I really do miss doing this. ;c And since this is just a quick post, Imma sleep now. Gotta have those energy back. I lost pounds and got dark circles! Talk about shitness.

Ciao!

Distant differences.

2009-07-18T23:09:00.001-07:00

Waking up has been a struggle for me nowadays especially when having my duties and lectures. I wake up one hour before the call time unlike before, I wake up 2 hours. My things aren't still prepared, either my pair of stockings are not yet in my closet or my shoes are nowhere to be seen. Knowing that I only have less than an hour to prepare, I still manage to sit and be quiet for a few minutes. What do I usually think of? Well, usually they are nonsense things. Like, how many patients am I going to handle today? Am I going to screw up? (not for the second time, please?), Will I get a decent grade for my quiz in NCM? I also think of the specialty pork chop of Don Robert's carinderia. I also think of our thesis which is still in static. I worry a lot of things and yet, I still remain seated, doing nothing even though I know that I lack extra time.

Some thinks that worrying enough is good, at least you care. But worrying is far different from moving, acting and doing right away.

I also complain a lot. A LOT. I complain about the rules they are imposing. The deadline of our thesis. I complain about the way he wants us to learn. I complain the way politicians spend their money--or maybe our money in commercial campaigns. I don't like the way my hair fly away like that. I complain the way they make the quizzes since they're too hard. I complain a lot. It's non-stop.

Some thinks that complaining enough is good, at least you are aware. But complaining is far different from accepting, being contented and moving on, and do what I should have been doing rather than remaining seated.

It fires up from within.

Chasing the ghost of a good life.

2009-07-18T21:37:00.001-07:00

"'wag kang matakot na hindi na maayos ang mga gulo sa buhay mo, malay mo... ginulo lang talaga yan para umayos ka."

It's true that there's a point in our lives when we realize that the life before the changes happened in us is so much better than with what you have, where you are or what you are right now. But this won't change the fact that the past will help you on what you should do in the present, so that your future will shine like no other.

The life after Liz Uy is not so good for Papa John Lloyd. Please, I will let you go back to her.

I am always and forever a fan of the Harry Potter series. Harry Potter is my first love, it's the first book that I had ever finished reading and that was in highschool. Now, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie version disappointed a lot of HP fans--big time! What have you done, David Yates? The whole plot of the movie is so messed up because of adding mushy love stories. Grrr.

----------------------------------------

Me? I'm almost there on the right lane. Yes, I'm almost there.

Lessons from Life

2009-06-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio [via: Amazing Posts]

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
Over prepare, then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
Always choose life.
Forgive everyone everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
Your children get only one childhood.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,we’d grab ours back.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Yield.
Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift

Gimme an "L"

2009-06-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

"I love you".

It's everywhere. Everyone is inlove. My niece loves my sister. My sister loves her daughter (my niece). My younger sister is inlove with her new boyfriend. Our parents loves us. My friend loves her boyfriend. My other friend loves his girlfriend. One of my friends loves her girlfriend.
He loves me, and yes, he loves me.

Dropping the "L" word seems too easy for everyone. But if everyone passed all the troubles I have been through, they'll be scared as hell if they're about to say that famous "L" word. It's not that I don't want to love. I'm inlove. I just don't want to tell it to the person. It'll make things complicated at this time. Am I coward? Maybe. Am I stupid? Absolutely. Am I being wise? I hope so. Am I used to this? No.

Saying "I love you" used to be easy for me. I love everyone, even my enemies to tell you honestly. But years and tears said to me that saying the "L" word comes great responsibility. Because saying that line, it means that you also have to prove it. Fine, you'll prove it. But when times comes (If it will and you are not meant together) that things will come to an end and promises have been broken, all those "I love you's" will marked as question marks. Well, depends on the reason of how you ended things but still... saying that line, scary for me now. Fine, it's better to have loved than never loved anyone before. So cliche, so cheesy. But it's true, I know. Still, I'm now scared.

Maybe I just got traumatized. Everytime I say the fucking word, I get into troubles. Really! Everytime I say that word to a guy, he'll start to expect. High expectations that most of the time, I couldn't do.

That's why lately, as I reflect, I don't drop promises and that "L" word. I almost, but I didn't. I wanna make sure that it's for real, when time is ready.

Is my life messy because of men? No. I'm the only person who can mess my life. You're the only one who can make your life easy, hard, sad or happy. It's always up to you.

Completely incomplete

2009-06-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

It's hard to understand why you can't shout everything that you want to say when you're afraid someone will get hurt when you do that. It is so damn fucking hard to understand why someone don't believe you when you're all in your sincerity and honesty. It's so hard to understand why life has to be this hard, too complex, too fucking complicated. Troubles will never get tired of me, don't they?

Like for instance, you had to give up one of your two dogs--your two favorite pets of all that you've had. Any choice that you'll make, someone will get hurt. Having them both is selfish. Giving up them both is stupid. Why? It's like you're running away, you coward.

"Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough.", as what the song (I can't remember the title) says. One of my friends said that "You and me against the world" will never ever work. Ok, let's consider him bitter but I dunno, I think I'm ABOUT to believe on that one. When everything's wrong, maybe you have to stop. Not because you're mean and selfish for choosing the easy way, but because it's wise. It's not that you always think about yourself, it's about choosing the lesser evil and harm-- and the lesser complications.

It's not that I like rush. I just don't want to waste time. What if, the theory of "December 12, 2012" is real? What if it's already the end of the world? What if I'm going to die tomorrow, or the next day? What if?

Oh I hate what if's. I'm just making myself more stupid when I think about the countless "what if's" in my life. Maybe, these "what if's" mean that I have to leave it that way. Or not? I hope someone will enlighten me. Please.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

2009-06-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away."

I got this from Karla. I was too lousy to ready it first, but even reading the first paragraph strucked me right away.

This is everyone's story, I believe. Well, if someone is NBSB (No boyfriend since birth, incase you're from pluto), that "one" will come along--and he/she'll be hell of a lucky person if the "one" didn't go away.

TWEET.PLAY.LAUGH

Twitter United

July 23, 2011

July 30, 2011

Kissing Friday

Modern-day LDR.

Somewhere only we know

On wanting to write something.

Blogging for Dummies 101

Tips for More!

Less hassle.

Good Life.

Of shot guns and roses.

Shifangshima

Tell me how.

I suck blood.

Here comes the charity work.

#prayforjapan

xoxo?

Cinderella took her apron off and wore the right glass slipper.

Of guns and roses.

Destruction.

Tumblin’ and Jumpin’

You know where my heart is.

Jog One’s Memory.

Of fireworks and cupcakes.

Reunited.

Graduation.

License.

Love for Family.

Real friends and Reel friends

Minimalism

Law of Attraction

Employment

B complex.

Oh! Look!

I’m tired to explain, so I just did the research for you.

Unemployed. Self-Employed. Multi-Level Marketing.

I saw the sign.

Heart Failure

Don’t ever look back.

Inevitable breaks

Turn the car around.

Buttercream frosted cupcakes ♥

For the love of manuscripts!

Quality vs. Quantity

Sappy.

Blood Line.

Roadtrip Part II

Short notice

Roadtrip Part I

I. Quote.

II. Siklab’s Victory.

III. Letters To Juliet

IV. Tuyo and Dillis for breakfast.

V. Photos

VI. Inside the Carton

Dermis and Epidermis

Back to basics.

You think?

Psalm 37:5

The tambay is now talking to herself.

11 Things I Wish I Had Known When Starting Out in Life

Four to six weeks.

Negativism into Positivism

Hypoxia.

Breakeven

Mindful kindness.

Leaving.

Peace of mind.

PCOS

My favorite tweets from PCOSmachine:

"garci already contact you pala.. how about gma? did she call u already? what did she say?" /via @d_vonn - im dropping her calls. Tama na.

Just talked to Garci. He sends his regards.

"so what happens to you after the elections? /via "@gianonline thinking of checking out bora first, then maybe try showbiz. Depends hu wins

"Matanong ko po.. bakit may defect at nag-bog down yung iba mong mga kapatid? :(" #halalan /via @marathonman89 - birth pains p0hz yun.

"Sana na-void yun ballot ni GMA. Why didn't you eat her, too @PCOSmachine?" /via @tatiny - coz she's spoiled already.

Having a hard time transmitting. Can somebody tell the PCOS next door to stop downloading Gossip Girl for awhile. Im trying to work here

Think COMELEC should have made it more clear that a vote for Jamby is not equal to a vote for Ang Ladlad Party-list.

"I was really starstrucked when I saw you live at our polling precint :))" /via @homgee - I have that effect on people. Most are dumbfounded